Barriers Burned Away · Chapter 29 (1/2)

XXIX

Dennis’s Love Put to Practical Use

The day following his unlucky criticism of the pictures was one of great despondency to Dennis. He had read in Christine’s face that he had wounded her sorely; and, though she knew it to be unintentional, would it not prejudice her mind against him, and snap the slender thread by which he hoped to draw across the gulf between them the cord, and then the cable, that might in time unite their lives?

In the evening his restless, troubled spirit drove him, in spite of the rain, to seek to be at least nearer to her. He felt sure that in the dusk and wrapped in his greatcoat he would not be noticed, but was mistaken, as we have seen. He was rewarded, for he heard her sing as never before, as he did not believe she could sing. For the first time her rich, thoroughly trained voice had the sweetness and power of feeling. To Dennis her song seemed like an appeal, a cry for help, and his heart responded in the deepest sympathy. As he walked homeward he said to himself: “She could be a true artist, perhaps a great one, for she can feel. She has a heart. She has a taste and skill in touch that few can surpass. I can scarcely believe the beautiful coloring and faultless lines of that picture are her work.” He long for a chance to speak with her and explain. He felt that he had so much to say, and in a thousand imaginary ways introduced the subject of her painting. He hoped he might find her sketching in some of the rooms again. He thought that he knew her better for having heard her sing, and that he could speak to her quite frankly.

The next day she came to the store, but passed him without the slightest notice. He hoped she had not seen him, and, as she passed out, so placed himself that she must see him, and secured for his pains only a slight, cold inclination of the head.

“It is as I feared,” he said, bitterly. “She detests me for having spoiled her triumph. She is not just,” he added, angrily. “She has no sense of justice, or she would not blame me. What a mean-spirited craven I should have been had I shrunk away under her taunts yesterday. Well, I can be proud too.”

When she came in again he did not raise his eyes, and when she passed out he was in a distant part of the store. Christine saw no tall muffled figure under her window again, though she had the curiosity to look. That even this humble admirer, for whom she cared not a jot, should show such independence rather nettled and annoyed her for a moment. But she paid no more heed to him than to the other clerks.

But what was the merest jar to Christine’s vanity cost Dennis a desperate struggle. It required no effort on her part to pass him by without a glance. To him it was torture. In a few days she ceased to think about him at all, and only remembered him in connection with her disappointment. But she was restless, could settle down to no work, and had lost her zest in her old pleasures. She tried to act as usual, for she saw her father’s eye was on her. He had not much indulgence for anyone’s weaknesses save his own, and often by a little cold satire would sting her to the very quick. On the other hand, his admiration, openly expressed in a certain courtly gallantry, nourished her pride but not her heart. Though she tried to keep up her usual routine, her manner was forced before him and languid when alone. But he said, “All this will pass away like a cold snap in spring, and the old zest will come again in a few days.”

It did, but from a cause which he could not understand, and which his daughter with consummate skill and care concealed. He thought it was only the old enthusiasm rallying after a sharp frost of disappointment.

Dennis’s pride gave way before her cool and unstudied indifference. It was clearly evident to him that he had no hold upon her life whatever, and how to gain any he did not see. He became more and more dejected.

“She must have a heart, or I could not love her so; but it is so encased in ice I fear I can never reach it.”

That something was wrong with Dennis any friend who cared for him at all might see. The Bruders did, and, with the quick intuitions of woman, Mrs. Bruder half guessed the cause. Mr. Bruder, seeing preoccupation and sometimes weary apathy in Dennis’s face, would say, “Mr. Fleet is not well.”

Then, as even this slight notice of his different appearance seemed to give pain, Mr. Bruder was patiently and kindly blind to his pupil’s inattention.

Dennis faithfully kept up all his duties on Sunday as during the week; but all was now hard work. Some little time after the unlucky morning which he could never think of without an expression of pain, he went to his mission class as usual. He heard his boys recite their lessons, said a few poor lame words in explanation, and then leaned his head listlessly and wearily on his hand. He was startled by hearing a sweet voice say, “Well, Mr. Fleet, are you not going to welcome a new laborer into your corner of the vineyard?”

With a deep flush he saw that Miss Winthrop was in charge of the class next to him, and that he had been oblivious to her presence nearly an hour. He tried to apologize. But she interrupted him, saying: “Mr. Fleet, you are not well. Anyone can see that.”

Then Dennis blushed as if he had a raging fever, and she was perplexed.

The closing exercises of the school now occupied them and then they walked out together.

“Mr. Fleet,” she said, “you never accepted my invitation. We have not seen you at our house. But perhaps your circle of friends is so large that you do not wish to add to it.”

Dennis could not forbear a smile at the suggestion, but he said, in apology, “I do not visit anyone, save a gentleman from whom I am taking lessons.”

“Do you mean to say that you have no friends at all in this great city?”

“Well, I suppose that is nearly the truth; that is, in the sense you use the term. My teacher and his wife⁠—”

“Nonsense! I mean friends of one’s own age, people of the same culture and status as yourself. I think we require such society, as truly as we need food and air. I did not mean those whom business or duty brought you in contact with, or who are friendly or grateful as a matter of course.”

“I have made no progress since my introduction to society at Miss Brown’s,” said Dennis.

“But you had the sincere and cordial offer of introduction,” said Miss Winthrop, looking a little hurt.

“I feel hardly fit for society,” said Dennis, all out of sorts with himself. “It seems that I can only blunder and give pain. But I am indeed grateful for your kindness.”

Miss Winthrop looked into his worn, pale face, and instinctively knew that something was wrong, and she felt real sympathy for the lonely young man, isolated among thousands. She said, gently but decidedly: “I did mean my invitation kindly, and I truly wished you to come. The only proof you can give that you appreciate my courtesy is to accept an invitation for tomorrow evening. I intend having a little musical entertainment.”

Quick as light flashed the thought, “Christine will be there.” He said, promptly: “I will come, and thank you for the invitation. If I am awkward, you must remember that I have never mingled in Chicago society, and for a long time not in any.”

She smiled merrily at him, and said, “Don’t do anything dreadful, Mr. Fleet.”

He caught her mood, and asked what had brought her down from her theological peak to such a valley of humiliation as a mission school.

“You and Miss Ludolph,” she answered, seriously. “Between you, you gave me such a lesson that afternoon at Miss Brown’s that I have led a different life ever since. Christine made all as dark as despair, and against that darkness you placed the fiery Cross. I have tried to cling to the true cross ever since. Now He could not say to me, ‘Inasmuch as ye did it not.’ And oh!” said she, turning to Dennis with a smile full of the light of Heaven, “His service is so very sweet! I heard last week that teachers were wanted at this mission school, so I came, and am glad to find you a neighbor.”

Dennis’s face also kindled at her enthusiasm, but after a moment grew sad again.

“I do not always give so lifeless a lesson as today,” he said, in a low voice.

“Mr. Fleet, you are not well. I can see that you look worn and greatly wearied. Are you not in some way overtaxing yourself?”

Again that sensitive flush, but he only said: “I assure you I am well. Perhaps I have worked a little hard. That is all.”

“Well, then, come to our house and play a little tomorrow evening,” she answered from the platform of a street car, and was borne away.

Dennis went to his lonely room, full of self-reproach.

“Does she find Christ’s service so sweet, and do I find it so dull and hard? Does human love alone constrain me, and not the love of Christ? Truly I am growing weak. Everyone says I look ill. I think I am, in body and soul, and am ceasing to be a man; but with God’s help I will be one⁠—and what is more, a Christian. I thank you, Miss Winthrop; you have helped me more than I have helped you. I will accept your invitation to go out into the world. I will no longer mope, brood, and perish in the damp and shade of my own sick fancies. If I cannot win her, I can at least be a man without her;” and he felt better and stronger than he had done for a long time. The day was breaking again.

In accordance with a custom that was growing with him ever since the memorable evening when Bill Cronk befriended him, he laid the whole matter before his Heavenly Father, as a child tells an earthly parent all his heart. Then he added one simple prayer, “Guide me in all things.”

The next day was brighter and better than its forerunners. “For some reason I feel more like myself,” he thought. After the excitement and activity of a busy day, he said, “I can conquer this, if I must.”

But when he had made his simple toilet, and was on his way to Miss Winthrop’s residence, his heart began to flutter strangely, and he knew the reason. Miss Winthrop welcomed him most cordially, and put him at his ease in a moment, as only a true lady can. Then she turned to receive other guests. He looked around. Christine was not there; and his heart sank like lead. “She will not be here,” he sighed. But the guests had not ceased coming, and every new arrival caused a flutter of hopes and fears. He both longed and dreaded to meet her. At last, when he had almost given up seeing her, suddenly she appeared, advancing up the parlor on her father’s arm. Never had she seemed so dazzlingly beautiful. He was just then talking to Mr. Winthrop, and for a few moments that gentleman was perplexed at his incoherent answers and the changes in his face. Having paid their respects to the daughter, Mr. and Miss Ludolph came toward Mr. Winthrop, and of course Dennis had to meet them. Having greeted them warmly, Mr. Winthrop said, “Of course you do not need an introduction to Mr. Fleet.”

Dennis had shrunk a little into the background, and at first they had not noticed him. Mr. Ludolph said, good-naturedly, “Glad to see you, Mr. Fleet, and will be still more glad to hear your fine voice.”

But Christine merely bowed as to one with whom her acquaintance was slight, and turned away. At first Dennis had blushed, and his heart had fluttered like a young girl’s; but, as she turned so coolly away, his native pride and obstinacy were aroused.

“She shall speak to me and do me justice,” he muttered. “She must understand that I spoke unconsciously on that miserable morning, and am not to be blamed. As I am a man, I will speak boldly and secure recognition.” But as the little company mingled and conversed before the music commenced, no opportunity offered. He determined to show her, however, that he was no country boor, and with skill and taste made himself agreeable.

Christine furtively watched him. She was surprised to see him, as the idea of meeting him in society as an equal had scarcely been suggested before. But when she saw that he greeted one after another with grace and ease, and that all seemed to enjoy his conversation, so that a little knot of Miss Winthrop’s most intelligent guests were about him at last, she felt that it would be no great condescension on her part to be a little more affable. In her heart, though, she had not forgiven the unconscious words that had smitten to the ground her ambitious hopes.

Then again, his appearance deeply interested her. A suppressed excitement and power, seen in the glow and fire of his dark eyes, and felt in his tones, stirred her languid pulses.

“He is no vapid society-man,” she said to herself; and her artist eye was gratified by the changes in his noble face.

“Look at Fleet,” whispered her father; “could you believe he was sweeping the store the other day? Well, if we don’t find out his worth and get what we can from him, the world will. We ought to have had him up to sing before this, but I have been so busy since your illness that it slipped my mind.”

Miss Winthrop now led Christine to the piano, and she played a classical piece of music in faultless taste. Then followed duets, solos, quartets, choruses, and instrumental pieces, for nearly all present were musical amateurs. Under the inspiration of this soul-stirring art, coldness and formality melted away, and with jest and brilliant repartee, alternating with song, there gathered around Miss Winthrop’s piano such a group as could never grace the parlors of Miss Brown. Sometimes they would carry a new and difficult piece triumphantly through; again they would break down, with much laughter and good-natured rallying.

Dennis, as a stranger, held back at first; but those who remembered his singing at the tableau party were clamorous to hear him again, and they tested and tried his voice during the evening in many and varied ways. But he held his own, and won greener laurels than ever. He did his very best, for he was before one whom he would rather please than all the world; moreover, her presence seemed to inspire him to do better than when alone. Christine, like the others, could not help listening with delight to his rich, clear tenor, and Mr. Ludolph was undisguised in his admiration.

“I declare, Mr. Fleet, I have been depriving myself of a good deal of pleasure. I meant to have you up to sing with us before, but we have been under such a press of business of late! But the first evening I am disengaged you must surely come.”

Christine had noticed how quietly and almost indifferently Dennis had taken the many compliments showered on him before, but now, when her father spoke, his face flushed, and a sudden light came into his eyes. Dennis had thought, “I can then see and speak to her.” Every now and then she caught his eager, questioning, and almost appealing glance, but he made no advances. “He thinks I am angry because of his keen criticism of my picture. For the sake of my own pride, I must not let him think that I care so much about his opinion;” and Christine resolved to let some of the ice thaw that had formed between them. Moreover, in spite of herself, when she was thrown into his society, he greatly interested her. He seemed to have just what she had not. He could meet her on her own ground in matters of taste, and then, in contrast with her cold, negative life, he was so earnest and positive. “Perhaps papa spoke for us both,” she thought, “and I have been depriving myself of a pleasure also, for he certainly interests while most men only weary me.”

Between ten and eleven supper was announced; not the prodigal abundance under which the brewer’s table had groaned, but a dainty, elegant little affair, which inspired and promoted social feeling, though the “spirit of wine” was absent. The eye was feasted as truly as the palate. Christine had stood near Dennis as the last piece was sung, and he turned and said in a low, eager tone, “May I have the pleasure of waiting on you at supper?”