No More Parades · Part I · Chapter 1 1 (3/4)

Inside the shrapnel shell was an iron bar with a flattened, broad nose. When the shell burst in the air this iron object fell to the ground and, since it came often from a great height, its fall was dangerous. The men called these candlesticks, which they much resembled.

A little ring of light now existed on the puce colour of the blanket-covered table. Tietjens showed, silver-headed, fresh-coloured, and bulky; Mackenzie, dark, revengeful eyes above a prognathous jaw. A very thin man, thirtyish.

“You can go into the shelter with the Colonial troops, if you like,” Tietjens said to the runner. The man answered after a pause, being very slow thinking, that he preferred to wait for his mate, 09 Morgan whatever.

“They ought to let my orderly room have tin hats,” Tietjens said to Mackenzie. “I’m damned if they didn’t take these fellows’ tin hats into store again when they attached to me for service, and I’m equally damned if they did not tell me that, if I wanted tin hats for my own headquarters, I had to write to H.Q. Canadians, Aldershot, or some such place in order to get the issue sanctioned.”

“Our headquarters are full of Huns doing the Huns’ work,” Mackenzie said hatefully. “I’d like to get among them one of these days.”

Tietjens looked with some attention at that young man with the Rembrandt shadows over his dark face. He said:

“Do you believe that tripe?”

The young man said:

“No⁠ ⁠… I don’t know that I do⁠ ⁠… I don’t know what to think⁠ ⁠… The world’s rotten⁠ ⁠…”

“Oh, the world’s pretty rotten, all right,” Tietjens answered. And, in his fatigue of mind caused by having to attend to innumerable concrete facts like the providing of households for a thousand men every few days, arranging parade states for an extraordinarily mixed set of troops of all arms with very mixed drills, and fighting the Assistant Provost Marshal to keep his own men out of the clutches of the beastly Garrison Military Police who had got a down on all Canadians, he felt he had not any curiosity at all left⁠ ⁠… Yet he felt vaguely that, at the back of his mind, there was some reason for trying to cure this young member of the lower middle classes.

He repeated:

“Yes, the world’s certainly pretty rotten. But that’s not its particular line of rottenness as far as we are concerned⁠ ⁠… We’re tangled up, not because we’ve got Huns in our orderly rooms, but just because we’ve got English. That’s the bat in our belfry⁠ ⁠… That Hun plane is presumably coming back. Half a dozen of them⁠ ⁠…”

The young man, his mind eased by having got off his chest a confounded lot of semi-nonsensical ravings, considered the return of the Hun planes with gloomy indifference. His problem really was: could he stand the ⸻ noise that would probably accompany their return? He had to get really into his head that this was an open space to all intents and purposes. There would not be splinters of stone flying about. He was ready to be hit by iron, steel, lead, copper, or brass shell rims, but not by beastly splinters of stone knocked off house fronts. That consideration had come to him during his beastly, his beastly, his infernal, damnable leave in London, when just such a filthy row had been going on⁠ ⁠… Divorce leave!⁠ ⁠… Captain McKechnie second attached ninth Glamorganshires is granted leave from the 14/11 to the 29/11 for the purpose of obtaining a divorce⁠ ⁠… The memory seemed to burst inside him with the noise of one of those beastly enormous tinpot crashes⁠—and it always came when guns made that particular kind of tinpot crash: the two came together, the internal one and the crash outside. He felt that chimney-pots were going to crash on to his head. You protected yourself by shouting at damned infernal idiots; if you could outshout the row you were safe⁠ ⁠… That was not sensible but you got ease that way!⁠ ⁠…

“In matters of Information they’re not a patch on us.” Tietjens tried the speech on cautiously and concluded: “We know what the Enemy rulers read in the sealed envelopes beside their breakfast bacon-and-egg plates.”

It had occurred to him that it was a military duty to bother himself about the mental equilibrium of this member of the lower classes. So he talked⁠ ⁠… any old talk, wearisomely, to keep his mind employed! Captain Mackenzie was an officer of His Majesty the King: the property, body and soul, of His Majesty and His Majesty’s War Office. It was Tietjens’ duty to preserve this fellow as it was his duty to prevent deterioration in any other piece of the King’s property. That was implicit in the oath of allegiance. He went on talking:

The curse of the army, as far as the organization is concerned, was our imbecile national belief that the game is more than the player. That was our ruin, mentally, as a nation. We were taught that cricket is more than clearness of mind, so the blasted quartermaster, O.C. Depot Ordnance Stores next door, thought he had taken a wicket if he refused to serve out tin hats to their crowd. That’s the Game! And if any of his, Tietjens’, men were killed, he grinned and said the game was more than the players of the game⁠ ⁠… And of course if he got his bowling average down low enough he got promotion. There was a quartermaster in a west country cathedral city who’d got more D.S.O.s and combatant medals than anyone on active service in France, from the sea to Peronne, or wherever our lines ended. His achievement was to have robbed almost every wretched Tommie in the Western Command of several weeks’ separation allowance⁠ ⁠… for the good of the taxpayer, of course. The poor ⸻ Tommies’ kids went without proper food and clothing, and the Tommies themselves had been in a state of exasperation and resentment. And nothing in the world was worse for discipline and the army as a fighting machine. But there that quartermaster sat in his office, playing the romantic game over his A.F.B.s till the broad buff sheets fairly glowed in the light of the incandescent gas. “And,” Tietjens concluded, “for every quarter of a million sterling for which he bowls out the wretched fighting men he gets a new clasp on his fourth D.S.O. ribbon⁠ ⁠… The game, in short, is more than the players of the game.”

“Oh, damn it!” Captain Mackenzie said. “That’s what’s made us what we are, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Tietjens answered. “It’s got us into the hole and it keeps us there.”

Mackenzie remained dispiritedly looking down at his fingers.

“You may be wrong or you may be right,” he said. “It’s contrary to everything that I ever heard. But I see what you mean.”

“At the beginning of the war,” Tietjens said, “I had to look in on the War Office, and in a room I found a fellow⁠ ⁠… What do you think he was doing⁠ ⁠… what the hell do you think he was doing? He was devising the ceremonial for the disbanding of a Kitchener battalion. You can’t say we were not prepared in one matter at least⁠ ⁠… Well, the end of the show was to be: the adjutant would stand the battalion at ease: the band would play ‘Land of Hope and Glory,’ and then the adjutant would say: ‘There will be no more parades’⁠ ⁠… Don’t you see how symbolical it was: the band playing ‘Land of Hope and Glory,’ and then the adjutant saying ‘There will be no more parades?’⁠ ⁠… For there won’t. There won’t, there damn well won’t⁠ ⁠… No more Hope, no more Glory, no more parades for you and me any more. Nor for the country⁠ ⁠… Nor for the world, I dare say⁠ ⁠… None⁠ ⁠… Gone⁠ ⁠… Na poo, finny! No⁠ ⁠… more⁠ ⁠… parades!”

“I dare say you’re right,” the other said slowly. “But, all the same, what am I doing in this show? I hate soldiering. I hate this whole beastly business⁠ ⁠…”

“Then why didn’t you go on the gaudy Staff?” Tietjens asked. “The gaudy Staff apparently was yearning to have you. I bet God intended you for Intelligence: not for the footslogging department.”

The other said wearily:

“I don’t know. I was with the battalion. I wanted to stop with the battalion. I was intended for the Foreign Office. My miserable uncle got me hoofed out of that. I was with the battalion. The C.O. wasn’t up to much. Someone had to stay with the battalion. I was not going to do the dirty on it, taking any soft job⁠ ⁠…”

“I suppose you speak seven languages and all?” Tietjens asked.

“Five,” the other said patiently, “and read two more. And Latin and Greek, of course.”

A man, brown, stiff, with a haughty parade step, burst into the light. He said with a high wooden voice:

“ ’Ere’s another bloomin’ casualty.” In the shadow he appeared to have draped half his face and the right side of his breast with crape. He gave a high, rattling laugh. He bent, as if in a stiff bow, woodenly at his thighs. He pitched, still bent, on to the iron sheet that covered the brazier, rolled off that and lay on his back across the legs of the other runner, who had been crouched beside the brazier. In the bright light it was as if a whole pail of scarlet paint had been dashed across the man’s face on the left and his chest. It glistened in the firelight⁠—just like fresh paint, moving! The runner from the Rhondda, pinned down by the body across his knees, sat with his jaw fallen, resembling one girl that should be combing the hair of another recumbent before her. The red viscousness welled across the floor; you sometimes so see fresh water bubbling up in sand. It astonished Tietjens to see that a human body could be so lavish of blood. He was thinking it was a queer mania that that fellow should have, that his uncle was a friend of his, Tietjens. He had no friend in trade, uncle of a fellow who in ordinary times would probably bring you pairs of boots on approval⁠ ⁠… He felt as he did when you patch up a horse that has been badly hurt. He remembered a horse from a cut on whose chest the blood had streamed down over the off foreleg like a stocking. A girl had lent him her petticoat to bandage it. Nevertheless his legs moved slowly and heavily across the floor.

The heat from the brazier was overpowering on his bent face. He hoped he would not get his hands all over blood, because blood is very sticky. It makes your fingers stick together impotently. But there might not be any blood in the darkness under the fellow’s back where he was putting his hand. There was, however: it was very wet.

The voice of Sergeant-Major Cowley said from outside:

“Bugler, call two sanitary lance-corporals and four men. Two sanitary corporals and four men.” A prolonged wailing with interruptions transfused the night, mournful, resigned, and prolonged.

Tietjens thought that, thank God, someone would come and relieve him of that job. It was a breathless affair holding up the corpse with the fire burning his face. He said to the other runner:

“Get out from under him, damn you! Are you hurt?” Mackenzie could not get at the body from the other side because of the brazier. The runner from under the corpse moved with short sitting shuffles as if he were getting his legs out from under a sofa. He was saying:

“Poor ⸻ O Nine Morgan! Surely to goodness I did not recognice the pore ⸻⁠ ⁠… Surely to goodness I did not recognice the pore ⸻.”

Tietjens let the trunk of the body sink slowly to the floor. He was more gentle than if the man had been alive. All hell in the way of noise burst about the world. Tietjens’ thoughts seemed to have to shout to him between earthquake shocks. He was thinking it was absurd of that fellow Mackenzie to imagine that he could know any uncle of his. He saw very vividly also the face of his girl who was a pacifist. It worried him not to know what expression her face would have if she heard of his occupation, now. Disgust?⁠ ⁠… He was standing with his greasy, sticky hands held out from the flaps of his tunic⁠ ⁠… Perhaps disgust!⁠ ⁠… It was impossible to think in this row⁠ ⁠… His very thick soles moved gluily and came up after suction⁠ ⁠… He remembered he had not sent a runner along to I.B.D. Orderly Room to see how many of his crowd would be wanted for garrison fatigue next day, and this annoyed him acutely. He would have no end of a job warning the officers he detailed. They would all be in brothels down in the town by now⁠ ⁠… He could not work out what the girl’s expression would be. He was never to see her again, so what the hell did it matter?⁠ ⁠… Disgust, probably!⁠ ⁠… He remembered that he had not looked to see how Mackenzie was getting on in the noise. He did not want to see Mackenzie. He was a bore⁠ ⁠… How would her face express disgust? He had never seen her express disgust. She had a perfectly undistinguished face. Fair⁠ ⁠… O God, how suddenly his bowels turned over!⁠ ⁠… Thinking of the girl⁠ ⁠… The face below him grinned at the roof⁠—the half face! The nose was there, half the mouth with the teeth showing in the firelight⁠ ⁠… It was extraordinary how defined the peaked nose and the serrated teeth were in that mess⁠ ⁠… The eye looked jauntily at the peak of the canvas hut-roof⁠ ⁠… Gone with a grin. Singular the fellow should have spoken! After he was dead. He must have been dead when he spoke. It had been done with the last air automatically going out of the lungs. A reflex action, probably, in the dead⁠ ⁠… If he, Tietjens, had given the fellow the leave he wanted he would be alive now!

Well, he was quite right not to have given the poor devil his leave. He was, anyhow, better where he was. And so was he, Tietjens. He had not had a single letter from home since he had been out this time! Not a single letter. Not even gossip. Not a bill. Some circulars of old furniture dealers. They never neglected him! They had got beyond the sentimental stage at home. Obviously so⁠ ⁠… He wondered if his bowels would turn over again if he thought of the girl. He was gratified that they had. It showed that he had strong feelings⁠ ⁠… He thought about her deliberately. Hard. Nothing happened. He thought of her fair, undistinguished, fresh face that made your heart miss a beat when you thought about it. His heart missed a beat. Obedient heart! Like the first primrose. Not any primrose. The first primrose. Under a bank with the hounds breaking through the underwood⁠ ⁠… It was sentimental to say Du bist wie eine Blume ⁠… Damn the German language! But that fellow was a Jew⁠ ⁠… One should not say that one’s young woman was like a flower, any flower. Not even to oneself. That was sentimental. But one might say one special flower. A man could say that. A man’s job. She smelt like a primrose when you kissed her. But, damn it, he had never kissed her. So how did he know how she smelt! She was a little tranquil, golden spot. He himself must be a ⸻ eunuch. By temperament. That dead fellow down there must be one, physically. It was probably indecent to think of a corpse as impotent. But he was, very likely. That would be why his wife had taken up with the prizefighter Red Evans Williams of Castell Goch. If he had given the fellow leave the prizefighter would have smashed him to bits. The police of Pontardulais had asked that he should not be let come home⁠—because of the prizefighter. So he was better dead. Or perhaps not. Is death better than discovering that your wife is a whore and being done in by her cully? Gwell angau na gwillth, their own regimental badge bore the words. “Death is better than dishonour”⁠ ⁠… No, not death, angau means pain. Anguish! Anguish is better than dishonour. The devil it is! Well, that fellow would have got both. Anguish and dishonour. Dishonour from his wife and anguish when the prizefighter hit him⁠ ⁠… That was no doubt why his half-face grinned at the roof. The gory side of it had turned brown. Already! Like a mummy of a Pharaoh, that half looked⁠ ⁠… He was born to be a blooming casualty. Either by shellfire or by the fist of the prizefighter⁠ ⁠… Pontardulais! Somewhere in Mid-Wales. He had been through it once in a car, on duty. A long, dull village. Why should anyone want to go back to it?⁠ ⁠…