Fanny’s First Play · The Play · Act I (2/2) (2/2)

| Gilbey | Don’t talk foolishness, girl. How could you and he be a pair, you being what you are, and he brought up as he has been, with the example of a religious woman like Mrs. Knox before his eyes? I can’t understand how he could bring himself to be seen in the street with you. Pitying himself. I haven’t deserved this. I’ve done my duty as a father. I’ve kept him sheltered. Angry with her. Creatures like you that take advantage of a child’s innocence ought to be whipped through the streets. | | Dora | Well, whatever I may be, I’m too much the lady to lose my temper; and I don’t think Bobby would like me to tell you what I think of you; for when I start giving people a bit of my mind I sometimes use language that’s beneath me. But I tell you once for all I must have the money to get Bobby out; and if you won’t fork out, I’ll hunt up Holy Joe. He might get it off his brother, the Monsignor. | | Gilbey | You mind your own concerns. My solicitor will do what is right. I’ll not have you paying my son’s fine as if you were anything to him. | | Dora | That’s right. You’ll get him out today, won’t you? | | Gilbey | It’s likely I’d leave my boy in prison, isn’t it? | | Dora | I’d like to know when they’ll let him out. | | Gilbey | You would, would you? You’re going to meet him at the prison door. | | Dora | Well, don’t you think any woman would that had the feelings of a lady? | | Gilbey | Bitterly. Oh yes: I know. Here! I must buy the lad’s salvation, I suppose. How much will you take to clear out and let him go? | | Dora | Pitying him: quite nice about it. What good would that do, old dear? There are others, you know. | | Gilbey | That’s true. I must send the boy himself away. | | Dora | Where to? | | Gilbey | Anywhere, so long as he’s out of the reach of you and your like. | | Dora | Then I’m afraid you’ll have to send him out of the world, old dear. I’m sorry for you: I really am, though you mightn’t believe it; and I think your feelings do you real credit. But I can’t give him up just to let him fall into the hands of people I couldn’t trust, can I? | | Gilbey | Beside himself, rising. Where’s the police? Where’s the Government? Where’s the Church? Where’s respectability and right reason? What’s the good of them if I have to stand here and see you put my son in your pocket as if he was a chattel slave, and you hardly out of gaol as a common drunk and disorderly? What’s the world coming to? | | Dora | It is a lottery, isn’t it, old dear? | | | Mr. Gilbey rushes from the room, distracted. | | Mrs. Gilbey | Unruffled. Where did you buy that white lace? I want some to match a collaret of my own; and I can’t get it at Perry and John’s. | | Dora | Knagg and Pantle’s: one and fourpence. It’s machine handmade. | | Mrs. Gilbey | I never give more than one and tuppence. But I suppose you’re extravagant by nature. My sister Martha was just like that. Pay anything she was asked. | | Dora | What’s tuppence to you, Mrs. Bobby, after all? | | Mrs. Gilbey | Correcting her. Mrs. Gilbey. | | Dora | Of course, Mrs. Gilbey. I am silly. | | Mrs. Gilbey | Bobby must have looked funny in your hat. Why did you change hats with him? | | Dora | I don’t know. One does, you know. | | Mrs. Gilbey | I never did. The things people do! I can’t understand them. Bobby never told me he was keeping company with you. His own mother! | | Dora | Overcome. Excuse me: I can’t help smiling. | | | Juggins enters. | | Juggins | Mr. Gilbey has gone to Wormwood Scrubbs, madam. | | Mrs. Gilbey | Have you ever been in a police court, Juggins? | | Juggins | Yes, madam. | | Mrs. Gilbey | Rather shocked. I hope you had not been exceeding, Juggins. | | Juggins | Yes, madam, I had. I exceeded the legal limit. | | Mrs. Gilbey | Oh, that! Why do they give a woman a fortnight for wearing a man’s hat, and a man a month for wearing hers? | | Juggins | I didn’t know that they did, madam. | | Mrs. Gilbey | It doesn’t seem justice, does it, Juggins? | | Juggins | No, madam. | | Mrs. Gilbey | To Dora, rising. Well, goodbye. Shaking her hand. So pleased to have made your acquaintance. | | Dora | Standing up. Don’t mention it. I’m sure it’s most kind of you to receive me at all. | | Mrs. Gilbey | I must go off now and order lunch. She trots to the door. What was it you called the concertina? | | Dora | A squiffer, dear. | | Mrs. Gilbey | Thoughtfully. A squiffer, of course. How funny! She goes out. | | Dora | Exploding into ecstasies of mirth. Oh my! isn’t she an old love? How do you keep your face straight? | | Juggins | It is what I am paid for. | | Dora | Confidentially. Listen here, dear boy. Your name isn’t Juggins. Nobody’s name is Juggins. | | Juggins | My orders are, Miss Delaney, that you are not to be here when Mr. Gilbey returns from Wormwood Scrubbs. | | Dora | That means telling me to mind my own business, doesn’t it? Well, I’m off. Tootle Loo, Charlie Darling. She kisses her hand to him and goes. |