Trilby · Part 1 (4/5)

Little Billee, taking with him three francs (or even four), would dive into back streets and buy a yard or so of crusty new bread, well burned on the flat side, a fillet of beef, a litre of wine, potatoes and onions, butter, a little cylindrical cheese called “bondon de Neufchâtel,” tender curly lettuce, with chervil, parsley, spring onions, and other fine herbs, and a pod of garlic, which would be rubbed on a crust of bread to flavor things with.

Taffy would lay the cloth Englishwise, and also make the salad, for which, like everybody else I ever met, he had a special receipt of his own (putting in the oil first and the vinegar after); and indeed his salads were quite as good as everybody else’s.

The Laird, bending over the stove, would cook the onions and beef into a savory Scotch mess so cunningly that you could not taste the beef for the onions⁠—nor always the onions for the garlic!

And they would dine far better than at le Père Trin’s, far better than at the English Restaurant in the Rue de la Madeleine⁠—better than anywhere else on earth!

And after dinner, what coffee, roasted and ground on the spot, what pipes and cigarettes of “caporal,” by the light of the three shaded lamps, while the rain beat against the big north window, and the wind went howling round the quaint old medieval tower at the corner of the Rue Vieille des Mauvais Ladres (the old street of the bad lepers), and the damp logs hissed and crackled in the stove!

What jolly talk into the small hours! Thackeray and Dickens again, and Tennyson and Byron (who was “not dead yet” in those days); and Titian and Velasquez, and young Millais and Holman Hunt (just out); and Monsieur Ingres and Monsieur Delacroix, and Balzac and Stendhal and George Sand; and the good Dumas! and Edgar Allan Poe; and the glory that was Greece and the grandeur that was Rome.⁠ ⁠…

Good, honest, innocent, artless prattle⁠—not of the wisest, perhaps, nor redolent of the very highest culture (which, by-the-way, can mar as well as make), nor leading to any very practical result; but quite pathetically sweet from the sincerity and fervor of its convictions, a profound belief in their importance, and a proud trust in their lifelong immutability.

Oh, happy days and happy nights, sacred to art and friendship! oh, happy times of careless impecuniosity, and youth and hope and health and strength and freedom⁠—with all Paris for a playground, and its dear old unregenerate Latin quarter for a workshop and a home!

And, up to then, no killjoy complications of love!

No, decidedly no! Little Billee had never known such happiness as this⁠—never even dreamed of its possibility.

A day or two after this, our opening day, but in the afternoon, when the fencing and boxing had begun and the trapeze was in full swing, Trilby’s “Milk below!” was sounded at the door, and she appeared⁠—clothed this time in her right mind, as it seemed: a tall, straight, flat-backed, square-shouldered, deep-chested, full-bosomed young grisette, in a snowy frilled cap, a neat black gown and white apron, pretty faded, well-darned, brown stockings, and well-worn, soft, gray, square-toed slippers of list, without heels and originally shapeless; but which her feet, uncompromising and inexorable as boot-trees, had ennobled into everlasting classic shapeliness, and stamped with an unforgettable individuality, as does a beautiful hand its well-worn glove⁠—a fact Little Billee was not slow to perceive, with a curious conscious thrill that was only half aesthetic.

Then he looked into her freckled face, and met the kind and tender mirthfulness of her gaze and the plucky frankness of her fine wide smile with a thrill that was not aesthetic at all (nor the reverse), but all of the heart. And in one of his quick flashes of intuitive insight he divined far down beneath the shining surface of those eyes (which seemed for a moment to reflect only a little image of himself against the sky beyond the big north window) a well of sweetness; and floating somewhere in the midst of it the very heart of compassion, generosity, and warm sisterly love; and under that⁠—alas! at the bottom of all⁠—a thin slimy layer of sorrow and shame. And just as long as it takes for a tear to rise and gather and choke itself back again, this sudden revelation shook his nervous little frame with a pang of pity, and the knightly wish to help. But he had no time to indulge in such soft emotions. Trilby was met on her entrance by friendly greetings on all sides.

“Tiens! c’est la grande Trilby!” exclaimed Jules Guinot through his fencing-mask. “Comment! t’es déjà debout après hier soir? Avons-nous assez rigolé chez Mathieu, hein? Crénom d’un nom, quelle noce! V’là une crémaillère qui peut se vanter d’être diantrement bien pendue, j’espère! Et la petite santé, c’matin?”

“Hé, hé! mon vieux,” answered Trilby. “Ça boulotte, apparemment! Et toi? et Victorine? Comment qu’a s’porte à c’t’heure? Elle avait un fier coup d’chasselas! c’est-y jobard, hein? de s’fich ’paf comme ça d’vant l’monde! Tiens, v’là, Gontran! ça marche-t-y, Gontran, Zouzou d’mon cœur?”

“Comme sur des roulettes, ma biche!” said Gontran, alias l’Zouzou⁠—a corporal in the Zouaves. “Mais tu t’es donc mise chiffonnière, à présent? T’as fait banqueroute?”

(For Trilby had a chiffonnier’s basket strapped on her back, and carried a pick and lantern.)

“Mais-z-oui, mon bon!” she said. “Dame! pas d’veine hier soir! t’as bien vu! Dans la dêche jusqu’aux omoplates, mon pauv’ caporal-sous-off! nom d’un canon⁠—faut bien vivre, s’pas?”

Little Billee’s heart sluices had closed during this interchange of courtesies. He felt it to be of a very slangy kind, because he couldn’t understand a word of it, and he hated slang. All he could make out was the free use of the tu and the toi, and he knew enough French to know that this implied a great familiarity, which he misunderstood.

So that Jules Guinot’s polite inquiries whether Trilby were none the worse after Mathieu’s housewarming (which was so jolly), Trilby’s kind solicitude about the health of Victorine, who had very foolishly taken a drop too much on that occasion, Trilby’s mock regrets that her own bad luck at cards had made it necessary that she should retrieve her fallen fortunes by rag-picking⁠—all these innocent, playful little amenities (which I have tried to write down just as they were spoken) were couched in a language that was as Greek to him⁠—and he felt out of it, jealous and indignant.

“Good afternoon to you, Mr. Taffy,” said Trilby, in English. “I’ve brought you these objects of art and virtu to make the peace with you. They’re the real thing, you know. I borrowed ’em from le père Martin, chiffonnier en gros et en détail, grand officier de la Légion d’Honneur, membre de l’Institut, et cetera, treize bis, Rue du Puits d’Amour, rez-de-chaussée, au fond de la cour à gauche, vis-à-vis le mont-de-piété! He’s one of my intimate friends, and⁠—”

“You don’t mean to say you’re the intimate friend of a ragpicker?” exclaimed the good Taffy.

“Oh yes! Pourquoi pas? I never brag; besides, there ain’t any beastly pride about le père Martin,” said Trilby, with a wink. “You’d soon find that out if you were an intimate friend of his. This is how it’s put on. Do you see? If you’ll put it on, I’ll fasten it for you, and show you how to hold the lantern and handle the pick. You may come to it yourself some day, you know. Il ne faut jurer de rien! Père Martin will pose for you in person, if you like. He’s generally disengaged in the afternoon. He’s poor but honest, you know, and very nice and clean; quite the gentleman. He likes artists, especially English⁠—they pay. His wife sells bric-a-brac and old masters: Rembrandts from two francs fifty upwards. They’ve got a little grandson⁠—a love of a child. I’m his godmother. You know French, I suppose?”

“Oh yes,” said Taffy, much abashed. “I’m very much obliged to you⁠—very much indeed⁠—a⁠—I⁠—a⁠—”

“Y a pas d’quoi!” said Trilby, divesting herself of her basket and putting it, with the pick and lantern, in a corner. “Et maintenant, le temps d’absorber une fine de fin sec [a cigarette] et je m’la brise [I’m off]. On m’attend à l’Ambassade d’Autriche. Et puis zut! Allez toujours, mes enfants. En avant la boxe!”

She sat herself down cross-legged on the model-throne, and made herself a cigarette, and watched the fencing and boxing. Little Billee brought her a chair, which she refused; so he sat down on it himself by her side, and talked to her, just as he would have talked to any young lady at home⁠—about the weather, about Verdi’s new opera (which she had never heard), the impressiveness of Notre Dame, and Victor Hugo’s beautiful romance (which she had never read), the mysterious charm of Leonardo da Vinci’s Lisa Gioconda’s smile (which she had never seen)⁠—by all of which she was no doubt rather tickled and a little embarrassed, perhaps also a little touched.

Taffy brought her a cup of coffee, and conversed with her in polite formal French, very well and carefully pronounced; and the Laird tried to do likewise. His French was of that honest English kind that breaks up the stiffness of even an English party; and his jolly manners were such as to put an end to all shyness and constraint, and make self-consciousness impossible.

Others dropped in from neighboring studios⁠—the usual cosmopolite crew. It was a perpetual come and go in this particular studio between four and six in the afternoon.

There were ladies, too, en cheveux, in caps and bonnets, some of whom knew Trilby, and thee’d and thou’d with familiar and friendly affection, while others mademoiselle’d her with distant politeness, and were mademoiselle’d and madame’d back again. “Absolument comme à l’Ambassade d’Autriche,” as Trilby observed to the Laird, with a British wink that was by no means ambassadorial.

Then Svengali came and made some of his grandest music, which was as completely thrown away on Trilby as fireworks on a blind beggar, for all she held her tongue so piously.

Fencing and boxing and trapezing seemed to be more in her line; and indeed, to a tone-deaf person, Taffy lunging his full spread with a foil, in all the splendor of his long, lithe, youthful strength, was a far gainlier sight than Svengali at the keyboard flashing his languid bold eyes with a sickly smile from one listener to another, as if to say: “N’est-ce pas que che suis peau! N’est-ce pas que ch’ai tu chénie? N’est-ce pas que che suis suplime, enfin?”

Then enter Durien the sculptor, who had been presented with a baignoire at the Porte St. Martin to see La Dame aux Camélias, and he invited Trilby and another lady to dine with him au cabaret and share his box.

So Trilby didn’t go to the Austrian embassy after all, as the Laird observed to Little Billee, with such a good imitation of her wink that Little Billee was bound to laugh.

But Little Billee was not inclined for fun; a dullness, a sense of disenchantment, had come over him; as he expressed it to himself, with pathetic self-pity:

“A feeling of sadness and longing

That is not akin to pain,

And resembles sorrow only

As the mist resembles the rain.”

And the sadness, if he had known, was that all beautiful young women with kind sweet faces and noble figures and goddess-like extremities should not be good and pure as they were beautiful; and the longing was a longing that Trilby could be turned into a young lady⁠—say the vicar’s daughter in a little Devonshire village⁠—his sister’s friend and co-teacher at the Sunday-school; a simple, pure, and pious maiden of gentle birth.

For he adored piety in woman, although he was not pious by any means. His inarticulate, intuitive perceptions were not of form and color secrets only, but strove to pierce the veil of deeper mysteries in impetuous and dogmatic boyish scorn of all received interpretations. For he flattered himself that he possessed the philosophical and scientific mind, and piqued himself on thinking clearly, and was intolerant of human inconsistency.

That small reserve portion of his ever-active brain which should have lain fallow while the rest of it was at work or play, perpetually plagued itself about the mysteries of life and death, and was forever propounding unanswerable arguments against the Christian belief, through a kind of inverted sympathy with the believer. Fortunately for his friends, Little Billee was both shy and discreet, and very tender of other people’s feelings; so he kept all his immature juvenile agnosticism to himself.

To atone for such ungainly strong-mindedness in one so young and tender, he was the slave of many little traditional observances which have no very solid foundation in either science or philosophy. For instance, he wouldn’t walk under a ladder for worlds, nor sit down thirteen to dinner, nor have his hair cut on a Friday, and was quite upset if he happened to see the new moon through glass. And he believed in lucky and unlucky numbers, and dearly loved the sights and scents and sounds of high-mass in some dim old French cathedral, and found them secretly comforting.

Let us hope that he sometimes laughed at himself, if only in his sleeve!

And with all his keenness of insight into life he had a well-brought-up, middle-class young Englishman’s belief in the infallible efficacy of gentle birth⁠—for gentle he considered his own and Taffy’s and the Laird’s, and that of most of the good people he had lived among in England⁠—all people, in short, whose two parents and four grandparents had received a liberal education and belonged to the professional class. And with this belief he combined (or thought he did) a proper democratic scorn for bloated dukes and lords, and even poor inoffensive baronets, and all the landed gentry⁠—everybody who was born an inch higher up than himself.

It is a fairly good middle-class social creed, if you can only stick to it through life in despite of life’s experience. It fosters independence and self-respect, and not a few stodgy practical virtues as well. At all events, it keeps you out of bad company, which is to be found both above and below.

And all this melancholy preoccupation, on Little Billee’s part, from the momentary gleam and dazzle of a pair of over-perfect feet in an over-aesthetic eye, too much enamoured of mere form!

Reversing the usual process, he had idealized from the base upward!

Many of us, older and wiser than Little Billee, have seen in lovely female shapes the outer garment of a lovely female soul. The instinct which guides us to do this is, perhaps, a right one, more often than not. But more often than not, also, lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owner, and more especially if she be a humble daughter of the people, poor and ignorant, of a yielding nature, too quick to love and trust. This is all so true as to be trite⁠—so trite as to be a common platitude!

A modern teller of tales, most widely (and most justly) popular, tells us of heroes and heroines who, like Lord Byron’s corsair, were linked with one virtue and a thousand crimes. And so dexterously does he weave his story that the young person may read it and learn nothing but good.

My poor heroine was the converse of these engaging criminals: she had all the virtues but one; but the virtue she lacked (the very one of all that plays the title-role, and gives its generic name to all the rest of that goodly company) was of such a kind that I have found it impossible so to tell her history as to make it quite fit and proper reading for the ubiquitous young person so dear to us all.