The Ladies Lindores · Chapter 4 (2/2)

Up to this time, however, nothing had happened to them except that which was determined by another will than theirs, the inevitable result of other events. But they had not been long settled in their new and elevated life when it became apparent that other changes had happened which were not evoked by any external fate, and which were yet more profoundly to affect their life. That Swiss holiday had been more important to Carry than anyone out of the family knew. It had ended in a kind of vague engagement, only half sanctioned, yet only half opposed by her family, and which it was possible, had Mr. Beaufort been rich enough to marry, would not have been opposed at all. Had he possessed income enough or courage enough to make the venture, the result in all likelihood would, years before, have been out of the reach of evil fate; but while it remained only an engagement, Mr. Lindores had refused his official sanction to it. And it had seemed to Carry, in whose mind the first conscious thought after the news of this extraordinary change was to communicate it to Edward, that from that very day her father’s aspect had changed towards her. He had met her running out to the post with her letter in the afternoon, and had given a suspicious glance at it, and stopped her, telling her it was not fit she should go out on a day so serious. Not a word had been said for weeks and even months after, but she knew very well that things were not as before. All reference to Beaufort was somehow stopped; even her mother managed to arrest upon her lips all mention of her lover. She was herself too timid to open the subject, and gradually a chill certainty that he was to be ignored and pushed aside out of her life, came upon the poor girl. How it was that further dangers dawned upon her, it would be hard to tell; but it is certain that she had divined a something⁠—a tightening coil about her helpless feet, a design upon her freedom and happiness⁠—before the family had been long at Lindores. One of the consequences of their great honour and increased stateliness of living was, that the two sisters were partially separated, as they felt, from each other. They no longer occupied the same room as they had done all their lives. They had now what with their foreign habits they called an appartement⁠—a suite of rooms set apart for them; and as Edith was full of curiosity and excitement about the new life, and Carry was discouraged and depressed, and felt it odious to her, they fell a little apart without any mutual intention or consciousness. It was in the beginning of their first winter, when the dark days were closing in, that this semi-estrangement first became apparent to the younger sister. She awoke all at once to the consciousness that Carry was pale; that she shut herself up very much, and more than ever devoted herself to her writing; that she composed a great many little poems (for she was the genius of the family), and often had a suspicion of redness about her eyes. This discovery was instantaneous. Edith had never been awakened to any but the most simple troubles of life, and it had not occurred to her to imagine that there was anything beneath the headache which her sister so often took refuge in. But her mind, when it began to act, was rapid and keen. It became apparent to her that she had been losing sight of Carry, and that Carry was not happy. The progress from one step to another of her solicitude for her sister was rapid as lightning. She remembered everything in a moment, though these causes of sorrow had been altogether out of her thoughts before. She remembered that not a word had been said of Mr. Beaufort for months; that Carry had ceased altogether to speculate as to anything that might happen in the future; that all this was as a closed book between them nowadays. As soon as she arrived at this conviction, Edith found herself ready to interfere for good or evil. She went into the room where Carry was writing her little poetries, with something of the effect of a fresh light wind, carrying refreshment, but also a little disturbance, with her. She stooped over her sister with a caressing arm round her neck, and plunged at once into the heart of the subject. It was a still, dull afternoon of early winter, and nobody was by. “Carry,” she said, all at once⁠—“Carry, it is so long since we have said anything to each other! I wanted to ask you about⁠—Edward!” Upon this, for all answer, Carry fell a-crying, but after a while sobbed forth, “I will never give him up!”

“Give him up!” cried Edith, surprised. She had what her mother called a positive nature, much less romantic, much less sensitive, than her sister. The idea of giving up had never entered her mind. “Give him up!⁠—no, of course not. I never thought of such a thing; but I am afraid it will be harder than ever with papa.”

“Oh, Edith, it will be impossible,” Caroline said. And then the two sisters looked at each other⁠—the one astonished, indignant, full of resistance; the other pale, drooping, without vigour or hope.

“What does impossible mean?” said the younger, not with any affectation or grandiloquence; for probably she had never heard of any heroic utterance on the subject. “You mean very, very hard. So it will be. I have wanted to speak to you since ever we came here. I want to know what he says himself, and if papa has said anything, and what mamma thinks. We don’t seem to live together now,” she added, with a clouded countenance. “It’s always, ‘Oh, Lady Caroline has gone out,’ or, ‘Her ladyship is in the library with my lord.’ It seemed very nice at first, but I begin to hate ladyships and lordships with all my heart.”

“So do I,” said Caroline, with a sigh.

“If you marry a man without a title, couldn’t you give it up? Perhaps one wouldn’t like that either, now,” said the girl, candidly. “It was far, far nicer, far more natural, in the old days; but perhaps one wouldn’t like to go back.”

“I suppose not,” said Carry, drearily. She was not a beautiful girl, as in her romantic position she ought to have been. Her nose was too large; her complexion deficient; her eyes were grey, sweet, and thoughtful, but not brilliant or shining. Her figure had the willowy grace of youth, but nothing more imposing. She had a very sweet radiant smile when she was happy; this was the chief attraction of her face: but at present she was not happy, and her pale gentle countenance was not one to catch the general eye.

“But I hope you are going to make a stand, Carry,” said the energetic little Edith. “You won’t, surely⁠—you can’t be so lâche as to give in? I would not!⁠—not if it cost me my life!”

“Ah, if it was a question of one’s life! but no one wants your life,” said Carry, shaking her head. “No one will touch us, or lock us up, or any of these old-fashioned things. If they only would! The poets say ‘I could die for you,’ as if that was difficult! Oh no, it is far harder, far harder to live.”

“Carry! you have been thinking a great deal about it, then?”

“What else could I think about? Since the first moment papa looked at me that day⁠—you remember that day?⁠—I knew in a moment what he meant. He gave me just one glance. You know he never said that he would consent.”

Edith’s youthful countenance gathered a sympathetic cloud. “Papa has been so changed ever since,” she said.

“He never would allow that he had consented even before⁠—and while we were all poor, what did it matter? So long as he does not ask me to⁠—”

“To what?” Edith asked, with a wondering perception of the shudder which ran over her sister’s slight figure. “Are you cold, Car?”

“To⁠—marry someone else,” cried poor Caroline, with a heavy sigh⁠—so heavy that it was almost a groan.

Edith sprang to her feet with indignant vehemence. “That is not possible; nobody could be so cowardly, so cruel, as that,” she said, clasping her hands together. “Carry, you speak as if papa was a bad man; you slander him; it is not true, it is not true!”

“He would not think it cruel,” said Caroline, shaking her head sadly. “He would not mean any harm; he would say to himself that it was for my good.”

Her despondency quenched the passion and energy of the younger girl. Carry’s drooping head and heavy eyes were enough to damp even the liveliest courage. “Are you thinking of⁠—anyone in particular?” Edith said in hushed and tremulous tones.

Carry put out her hands as if to push some spectre away. “Oh, don’t ask me, don’t ask me; I don’t know; I can’t tell you,” she cried.

What could Edith say? she was appalled. The fresh inexperienced heart received a first lesson in the mysterious evils of life. She who had fretted and chafed so at the partial separation that had arisen between them, she was glad of a pretext to leave her sister. She could scarcely believe this to be possible, and yet so it was. Nor did she wish to run to her mother with her discovery, to appeal to her against Carry’s misconception, against the monstrous character of the suggestion altogether, as would have been her first impulse in any other case. No; she was convinced of the reality of it, little as she desired to be convinced. A gleam of painful light seemed to fall across the new tenor of their life. She thought for a moment that she saw the very earth, solid and unyielding, break into dangerous pits and chasms before her feet. The pain of this discovery was twofold⁠—both poignant, yet one worse than the other. To think that her father, whom she had hitherto loved and trusted, not with any excess of devotion, but yet with an honest confidence that he would ask nothing wrong, nothing unreasonable from his children, should thus threaten to become a domestic tyrant, an enemy of truth, was terrible; but still more terrible was the conviction which overwhelmed the girl that Carry, with all her imagination and feeling⁠—Carry, the poet of the family, the first one to have a romance and a lover⁠—would not have strength to resist any attempted coercion. Oh, if it had only been me! Edith said to herself, clenching her hands tight. But then she had no Edward, no romance⁠—she was fancy free: even were it possible to force her into any connection she disliked (which Edith did not think it would be), at all events she could not be made false to another. But Carry⁠—Carry, who was all heart⁠—to force her to deny that heart would be doubly cruel. Little Edith woke out of her careless youth to see this wonderful and great danger at her very side, with all that bewilderment of feeling which attends the first disclosure of the evils in life. She could not believe it, and yet she knew it was true. She remembered tones in her father’s voice, lights in his eyes, which she never seemed to have understood before. Was this what they meant? that when his time and opportunity came, he would be a tyrant, a remorseless and unfaltering ruler, suffering no rebellion? Edith trembled a little. Perhaps she, too, might fall under that despotism one day. But she did not feel afraid for herself. Oh, if it had only been me! she said, ungrammatical, as excitement generally is. It would be hard to say what ground she had for her self-confidence. Carry was the genius of the family, and little Edith only the youngest, the household pet, whom nobody regarded as in a position to make decisions or form opinions for herself. Why was it to her eyes that this sudden insight had been given? It is not usually a happy gift. Blessed are they, we may rather say, who can deceive themselves⁠—whose eyes are made blind, and not more fatally clear, by love. Edith hastened out of doors, out of sight or speech of anyone, to try if she could escape from this revelation which had opened upon her, so much against her will. It was a misty dull day, with a great deal of moisture in the air⁠—moisture which seemed to communicate itself to Edith’s eyes, and get into her throat. She hastened down the path which wound through the birches, the poetical “birks of Lindores,” to the river lying far below, and already sending a soft sound of running water to soothe her. About halfway down was a great beech-tree, round which a seat had been placed. Here there was a view, not of the wide champaign, like that at Dalrulzian, but of a portion of the highroad, just where it began to mount the hill towards the Castle. On the other side lay the river, visible at the foot of the bank, and running somewhat strong and wild under the cliffs on the opposite side, which threw it into deep shadow. But it was not the river, though so much the more beautiful of the two, it was the highroad which attracted Edith’s attention. As she stood looking out upon it, someone passed, riding slowly along, but turning his head to catch the first glimpse of the Castle. His appearance seemed to throw a sudden light upon her thoughts. He was a heavy, large man, upon a powerful black horse⁠—an apparition big enough to be identified, even at that distance. The ladies had all been very free in their remarks upon this representative of their county neighbours. They had not given him a very encouraging reception, yet he had repeated his visits, too stolid, they had thought, to perceive that he was not wanted. As Edith stood and gazed at him, with the blood curdling about her heart, it flashed upon her that her father had given no countenance to their criticisms. He had told them that Mr. Torrance was one of the richest commoners in Scotland, and Tinto such a house as anyone might be proud to possess. She had paid little attention to these words at the time, but they seemed to repeat themselves in the very air now. It was a day of revelation to Edith. She saw all that it meant, and foresaw all it was coming to, with a gleam of terrible insight. Oh no, no! she moaned to herself in a kind of helpless protest against fate.