Giant’s Bread · Book IV · I · Chapter 4 1 3

III

When they went back to the antimacassars they talked cheerfully of ordinary things. Vernon only touched once on the future.

“Nell, when I’m gone, will you go to your mother, or what?”

“No. I’d rather stay down here. There are lots of things to do in Wiltsbury⁠—hospital, canteen.”

“Yes, but I don’t want you to do anything. I think you’d be better distracted in London. There will still be theatres and things like that.”

“No, Vernon, I must do something⁠—work, I mean.”

“Well, if you want to work, you can knit me socks. I hate all this nursing business. I suppose it’s necessary but I don’t like it. You wouldn’t care to go to Birmingham?”

Nell said very decidedly that she would not like to go to Birmingham.

The actual parting when it came was less strenuous. Vernon kissed her almost offhandedly.

“Well, so long. Cheer up. Everything’s going to be all right. I’ll write as much as I can, though I expect we’re not allowed to say much that’s interesting. Take care of yourself, Nell darling.”

One almost involuntary tightening of his arms round her, and then he almost pushed her from him.

He was gone.

She thought, “I shall never sleep tonight⁠ ⁠… never⁠ ⁠…”

But she did. A deep heavy sleep. She went down into it as into an abyss. A haunted sleep⁠—full of terror and apprehension that gradually faded into the unconsciousness of exhaustion.

She woke with a keen sword of pain piercing her heart.

She thought, “Vernon’s gone to the war. I must get something to do.”