Struggles and Triumphs · Chapter 37 (2/3)

Now it happened that a couple of mischievous young ladies were visiting at my house, one of whom was to sleep with Lavinia. They were suspicious that the General was going to propose to Lavinia that evening, and, in a spirit of ungovernable curiosity, they determined, notwithstanding its manifest impropriety, to witness the operation, if they could possibly manage to do so on the sly. Of course this was inexcusable, the more so as so few of my readers, had they been placed under the same temptation, would have been guilty of such an impropriety! Perhaps I should hesitate to use the testimony of such witnesses, or even to trust it. But a few weeks after, they told the little couple the whole story, were forgiven, and all had a hearty laugh over it.

It so happened that the door of the sitting room, in which the General and Lavinia were left at the backgammon board, opened into the hall just at the side of the stairs, and these young misses, turning out the lights in the hall, seated themselves upon the stairs in the dark, where they had a full view of the cosy little couple, and were within easy earshot of all that was said.

The house was still. The General soon acknowledged himself vanquished at backgammon, and gave it up. After sitting a few moments, he evidently thought it was best to put a clincher on the financial part of his abilities; so he drew from his pocket a policy of insurance, and handing it to Lavinia, he asked her if she knew what it was.

Examining it, she replied, “It is an insurance policy. I see you keep your property insured.”

“But the beauty of it is, it is not my property,” replied the General, “and yet I get the benefit of the insurance in case of fire. You will see,” he continued, unfolding the policy, “this is the property of Mr. Williams, but here, you will observe, it reads ‘loss, if any, payable to Charles S. Stratton, as his interest may appear.’ The fact is, I loaned Mr. Williams three thousand dollars, took a mortgage on his house, and made him insure it for my benefit. In this way, you perceive, I get my interest, and he has to pay the taxes.”

“That is a very wise way, I should think,” remarked Lavinia.

“That is the way I do all my business,” replied the General, complacently, as he returned the huge insurance policy to his pocket. “You see,” he continued, “I never lend any of my money without taking bond and mortgage security, then I have no trouble with taxes; my principal is secure, and I receive my interest regularly.”

The explanation seemed satisfactory to Lavinia, and the General’s courage began to rise. Drawing his chair a little nearer to hers, he said:

“So you are going to Europe, soon?”

“Yes,” replied Lavinia, “Mr. Barnum intends to take me over in a couple of months.”

“You will find it very pleasant,” remarked the General; “I have been there twice, in fact I have spent six years abroad, and I like the old countries very much.”

“I hope I shall like the trip, and I expect I shall,” responded Lavinia; “for Mr. Barnum says I shall visit all the principal cities, and he has no doubt I will be invited to appear before the Queen of England, the Emperor and Empress of France, the King of Prussia, the Emperor of Austria, and at the courts of any other countries which we may visit. Oh! I shall like that, it will be so new to me.”

“Yes, it will be very interesting indeed. I have visited most of the crowned heads,” remarked the General, with an evident feeling of self-congratulation. “But are you not afraid you will be lonesome in a strange country?” asked the General.

“No, I think there is no danger of that, for friends will accompany me,” was the reply.

“I wish I was going over, for I know all about the different countries, and could explain them all to you,” remarked Tom Thumb.

“That would be very nice,” said Lavinia.

“Do you think so?” said the General, moving his chair still closer to Lavinia’s.

“Of course,” replied Lavinia, coolly, “for I, being a stranger to all the habits and customs of the people, as well as to the country, it would be pleasant to have some person along who could answer all my foolish questions.”

“I should like it first rate, if Mr. Barnum would engage me,” said the General.

“I thought you remarked the other day that you had money enough, and was tired of travelling,” said Lavinia, with a slightly mischievous look from one corner of her eye.

“That depends upon my company while travelling,” replied the General.

“You might not find my company very agreeable.”

“I would be glad to risk it.”

“Well, perhaps Mr. Barnum would engage you, if you asked him,” said Lavinia.

“Would you really like to have me go?” asked the General, quietly insinuating his arm around her waist, but hardly close enough to touch her.

“Of course I would,” was the reply.

The little General’s arm clasped the waist closer as he turned his face nearer to hers, and said:

“Don’t you think it would be pleasanter if we went as man and wife?”

The little fairy quickly disengaged his arm, and remarked that the General was a funny fellow to joke in that way.

“I am not joking at all,” said the General, earnestly, “it is quite too serious a matter for that.”

“I wonder why the Commodore don’t come?” said Lavinia.

“I hope you are not anxious for his arrival, for I am sure I am not,” responded the General, “and what is more, I do hope you will say ‘yes,’ before he comes at all!”

“Really, Mr. Stratton,” said Lavinia, with dignity, “if you are in earnest in your strange proposal, I must say I am surprised.”

“Well, I hope you are not offended,” replied the General, “for I was never more in earnest in my life, and I hope you will consent. The first moment I saw you I felt that you were created to be my wife.”

“But this is so sudden.”

“Not so very sudden; it is several months since we first met, and you know all about me, and my family, and I hope you find nothing to object to in me.”

“Not at all; on the contrary, I have found you very agreeable, in fact I like you very much as a friend, but I have not thought of marrying, and⁠—”

“And what? my dear,” said the General, giving her a kiss. “Now, I beg of you, don’t have any ‘buts’ or ‘ands’ about it. You say you like me as a friend, why will you not like me as a husband? You ought to get married; I love you dearly, and I want you for a wife. Now, deary, the Commodore will be here in a few minutes, I may not have a chance to see you again alone; do say that we will be married, and I will get Mr. Barnum to give up your engagement.”

Lavinia hesitated, and finally said:

“I think I love you well enough to consent, but I have always said I would never marry without my mother’s consent.”

“Oh! I’ll ask your mother. May I ask your mother? Come, say yes to that, and I will go and see her next week. May I do that, pet?”

Then there was a sound of something very much like the popping of several corks from as many beer bottles. The young eavesdroppers had no doubt as to the character of these reports, nor did they doubt that they sealed the betrothal, for immediately after they heard Lavinia say:

“Yes, Charles, you may ask my mother.” Another volley of reports followed, and then Lavinia said, “Now, Charles, don’t whisper this to a living soul; let us keep our own secrets for the present.”

“All right,” said the General, “I will say nothing; but next Tuesday I shall start to see your mother.”

“Perhaps you may find it difficult to obtain her consent,” said Lavinia.

At that moment a carriage drove up to the door, and immediately the bell was rung, and the little Commodore entered.

“You here, General?” said the Commodore, as he espied his rival.

“Yes,” said Lavinia, “Mr. Barnum asked him to stay, and we were waiting for you; come, warm yourself.”

“I am not cold,” said the Commodore; “where is Mr. Barnum?”

“He has gone to bed,” remarked the General, “but a nice supper has been prepared for you.”

“I am not hungry, I thank you; I am going to bed. Which room does Mr. Barnum sleep in?” said the little bantam, in a petulant tone of voice.

His question was answered; the young eavesdroppers scampered to their sleeping apartments, and the Commodore soon came to my room, where he found me indulging in the foolish habit of reading in bed.

“Mr. Barnum, does Tom Thumb board here?” asked the Commodore, sarcastically.

“No,” said I, “Tom Thumb does not board here. I invited him to stop overnight, so don’t be foolish, but go to bed.”

“Oh, it’s no affair of mine. I don’t care anything about it; but I thought he had taken up his board here,” replied the Commodore, and off he went to bed, evidently in a bad humor.

Ten minutes afterwards Tom Thumb came rushing into my room, and closing the door, he caught hold of my hand in a high state of excitement and whispered:

“We are engaged, Mr. Barnum! we are engaged! we are engaged!” and he jumped up and down in the greatest glee.

“Is that possible?” I asked.

“Yes, sir, indeed it is; but you must not mention it,” he responded; “we agreed to tell nobody, so please don’t say a word. I must tell you, of course, but ‘mum is the word.’ I am going, Tuesday, to get her mother’s consent.”

I promised secrecy, and the General retired in as happy a mood as I ever saw him. Lavinia also retired, but not a hint did she give to the young lady with whom she slept regarding the engagement. Indeed, our family plied her upon the subject the next day, but not a breath passed her lips that would give the slightest indication of what had transpired. She was quite sociable with the Commodore, and as the General concluded to go home the next morning, the Commodore’s equanimity and good feelings were fully restored. The General made a call of half an hour Sunday evening, and managed to have an interview with Lavinia. The next morning she and the Commodore returned to New York in good spirits, I remaining in Bridgeport.

The General called on me Monday, however, bringing a very nice letter which he had written to Lavinia’s mother. He had concluded to send this letter by his trusty friend, Mr. George A. Wells, instead of going himself, and he had just seen Mr. Wells, who had consented to go to Middleborough with the letter the following day, and to urge the General’s suit, if it should be necessary.

The General went to New York on Wednesday, and was there to await Mr. Wells’ arrival. On Wednesday morning the General and Lavinia walked into my office, and after closing the door, the little General said:

“Mr. Barnum, I want somebody to tell the Commodore that Lavinia and I are engaged, for I am afraid there will be a row when he hears of it.”

“Do it yourself, General,” I replied.

“Oh,” said the General, almost shuddering, “I would not dare to do it, he might knock me down.”

“I will do it,” said Lavinia; and it was at once arranged that I should call the Commodore and Lavinia into my office, and either she or myself would tell him. The General, of course, “vamosed.”

When the Commodore joined us and the door was closed, I said:

“Commodore, do you know what this little witch has been doing?”

“No, I don’t,” he answered.

“Well, she has been cutting up one of the greatest pranks you ever heard of,” I replied. “She almost deserves to be shut up, for daring to do it. Can’t you guess what she has done?”

He mused a moment, and then looking at me, said in a low voice, and with a serious looking face, “Engaged?”

“Yes,” said I, “absolutely engaged to be married to General Tom Thumb. Did you ever hear of such a thing?”

“Is that so, Lavinia?” asked the Commodore, looking her earnestly in the face.

“That is so,” said Lavinia; “and Mr. Wells has gone to obtain my mother’s consent.”

The Commodore turned pale, and choked a little, as if he was trying to swallow something. Then, turning on his heel, he said, in a broken voice:

“I hope you may be happy.”

As he passed out of the door, a tear rolled down his cheek.

“That is pretty hard,” I said to Lavinia.

“I am very sorry,” she replied, “but I could not help it. That diamond and emerald ring which you bade me present in my name, has caused all this trouble.”

Half an hour after this incident, the Commodore came to my office, and said:

“Mr. Barnum, do you think it would be right for Miss Warren to marry Charley Stratton if her mother should object?”

I saw that the little fellow had still a slight hope to hang on, and I said:

“No, indeed, it would not be right.”

“Well, she says she shall marry him anyway; that she gives her mother the chance to consent, but if she objects, she will have her own way and marry him,” said the Commodore.

“On the contrary,” I replied, “I will not permit it. She is engaged to go to Europe for me, and I will not release her, if her mother does not fully consent to her marrying Tom Thumb.”

The Commodore’s eyes glistened with pleasure, as he replied:

“Between you and me, Mr. Barnum, I don’t believe she will give her consent.”

But the next day dissipated his hopes. Mr. Wells returned, saying that Lavinia’s mother at first objected, for she feared it was a contrivance to get them married for the promotion of some pecuniary advantage; but, upon reading the letter from the General, and one still more urgent from Lavinia, and also upon hearing from Mr. Wells that, in case of their marriage, I should cancel all claims I had upon Lavinia’s services, she consented.

After the Commodore had heard the news, I said to him:

“Never mind, Commodore, Minnie Warren is a better match for you; she is a charming little creature, and two years younger than you, while Lavinia is several years your senior.”

“I thank you, sir,” replied the Commodore, pompously, “I would not marry the best woman living; I don’t believe in women, anyway.”

I then suggested that he should stand with little Minnie, as groom and bridesmaid, at the approaching wedding.

“No, sir!” replied the Commodore, emphatically; “I won’t do it!”

That idea was therefore abandoned. A few weeks subsequently, when time had reconciled the Commodore, he told me that Tom Thumb had asked him to stand as groom with Minnie, at the wedding, and he was going to do so.

“When I asked you, a few weeks ago, you refused,” I said.

“It was not your business to ask me,” replied the Commodore, pompously. “When the proper person invited me I accepted.”

Of course the approaching wedding was announced. It created an immense excitement. Lavinia’s levees at the Museum were crowded to suffocation, and her photographic pictures were in great demand. For several weeks she sold more than three hundred dollars’ worth of her cartes de visite each day. And the daily receipts at the Museum were frequently over three thousand dollars. I engaged the General to exhibit, and to assist her in the sale of pictures, to which his own photograph, of course, was added. I could afford to give them a fine wedding, and I did so.

The little couple made a personal application to Bishop Potter to perform the nuptial ceremony, and obtained his consent; but the matter became public, and outside pressure from some of the most squeamish of his clergy was brought to bear upon the bishop, and he rescinded his engagement.

This fact of itself, as well as the opposition that caused it, only added to the notoriety of the approaching wedding, and increased the crowds at the Museum. The financial result to me was a piece of good fortune, which I was, of course, quite willing to accept, though in this instance the “advertisement,” so far as the fact of the betrothal of the parties with its preliminaries were concerned, was not of my seeking, as the recital now given shows. But seeing the turn it was taking in crowding the Museum, and pouring money into the treasury, I did not hesitate to seek continued advantage from the notoriety of the prospective marriage. Accordingly, I offered the General and Lavinia fifteen thousand dollars if they would postpone the wedding for a month, and continue their exhibitions at the Museum.