Section 10

e the close of the last campaign; Monsieur Petticum having been appointed to receive from time to time the overtures of the enemy. During the whole winter, the Ministers of France have used their utmost skill in forming such answers as might amuse the Allies, in hopes of a favourable event; either in the north, or some other part of Europe, which might affect some part of the alliance too nearly to leave it in a capacity of adhering firmly to the interest of the whole. In all this transaction, the French king's own name has been as little made use of as possible: but the season of the year advancing too fast to admit of much longer delays in the present condition of France, Monsieur Torcy, in the name of the king, sent a letter to Monsieur Petticum, wherein he says, that 「the king is willing all the preliminary articles shall rest as they are during the treaty for the 37th.「

Upon the receipt of this advice, passports were sent to the French Court, and their Ministers are expected at Moerdyk on the 5th of the next month.

Sheer Lane, February 20.

I have been earnestly solicited for a further term, for wearing the farthingale by several of the fair sex, but more especially by the following petitioners:

 「The humble petition of Deborah Hark, Sarah Threadpaper and Rachael
 Thimble, spinsters, and single women, commonly called
 Waiting-maids, in behalf of themselves and their sisterhood;

 「SHEWETH,

 「That your Worship hath been pleased to order and command, that no
 person or persons shall presume to wear quilted petticoats, on
 forfeiture of the said petticoats, or penalty of wearing ruffs,
 after the 17th instant now expired.

 「That your petitioners have time out of mind been entitled to wear
 their ladies' clothes, or to sell the same.

 「That the sale of the said clothes is spoiled by your Worship's
 said prohibition.

 「Your petitioners therefore most humbly pray, that your Worship
 would please to allow, that all gentlewomen's gentlewomen may be
 allowed to wear the said dress, or to repair the loss of such a
 perquisite in such manner as your Worship shall think fit.

 「And your petitioners,「 &c.

I do allow the allegations of this petition to be just, and forbid all persons but the petitioners, or those who shall purchase from them, to wear the said garment after the date hereof.

[Footnote 107: Nichols suggests that this paper may be by Addison, and it is certainly not unlikely that he was the author of the 「History of Tom Varnish.「]

No. 137. [STEELE.

From Tuesday, Feb. 21, to Thursday, Feb. 23, 1709-10.

Ter centum tonat ore deos, Erebumque, Chaosque,
Tergeminamque Hecaten.--VIRG., Æn. iv. 510.

   *       *       *       *       *

Sheer Lane, February 22.

Dick Reptile and I sat this evening later than the rest of the club; and as some men are better company when only with one friend, others when there is a large number, I found Dick to be of the former kind. He was bewailing to me in very just terms, the offences which he frequently met with in the abuse of speech: some use ten times more words than they need, some put in words quite foreign to their purpose, and others adorn their discourses with oaths and blasphemies by way of tropes and figures. What my good friend started, dwelt upon me after I came home this evening, and led me into an inquiry with myself, whence should arise such strange excrescences in discourse? Whereas it must be obvious to all reasonable beings, that the sooner a man speaks his mind, the more complaisant he is to the man with whom he talks: but upon mature deliberation, I am come to this resolution, that for one man who speaks to be understood, there are ten who talk only to be admired.

The ancient Greeks had little independent syllables called 「expletives,「 which they brought into their discourses both in verse and prose, for no other purpose but for the better grace and sound of their sentences and periods. I know no example but this which can authorise the use of more words than are necessary. But whether it be from this freedom taken by that wise nation, or however it arises, Dick Reptile hit upon a very just and common cause of offence in the generality of the people of all orders. We have one here in our lane who speaks nothing without quoting an authority; for it is always with him, so and so, 「as the man said.「 He asked me this morning, how I did, 「as the man said「; and hoped I would come now and then to see him, 「as the man said.「 I am acquainted with another, who never delivers himself upon any subject, but he cries, he only speaks his 「poor judgment「; this is his humble opinion; or as for his part, if he might presume to offer anything on that subject. But of all the persons who add elegances and superfluities to their discourses, those who deserve the foremost rank, are the swearers; and the lump of these may, I think, be very aptly divided into the common distinction of high and low. Dulness and barrenness of thought is the original of it in both these sects, and they differ only in constitution: the low is generally a phlegmatic, and the high a choleric coxcomb. The man of phlegm is sensible of the emptiness of his discourse, and will tell you, that 「I'fackins,「 such a thing is true: or if you warm him a little, he may run into passion, and cry, 「Odsbodikins,「 you do not say right. But the high affects a sublimity in dulness, and invokes hell and damnation at the breaking of a glass, or the slowness of a drawer.

I was the other day trudging along Fleet Street on foot, and an old army friend came up with me. We were both going towards Westminster, and finding the streets were so crowded that we could not keep together, we resolved to club for a coach. This gentleman I knew to be the first of the order of the choleric. I must confess (were there no crime in it), nothing could be more diverting than the impertinence of the high juror: for whether there is remedy or not against what offends him, still he is to show he is offended; and he must sure not omit to be magnificently passionate, by falling on all things in his way. We were stopped by a train of coaches at Temple Bar. 「What the devil!「 says my companion, 「cannot you drive on, coachman? D----n you all, for a set of sons of whores, you will stop here to be paid by the hour! There is not such a set of confounded dogs as the coachmen unhanged! But these rascally Cits---- 'Ounds, why should not there be a tax to make these dogs widen their gates? Oh! but the hell-hounds move at last.「 「Ay,「 said I, 「I knew you would make them whip on if once they heard you.「 「No,「 says he; 「but would it not fret a man to the devil, to pay for being carried slower than he can walk? Lookee, there is for ever a stop at this hole by St. Clement's Church. Blood, you dog!--Harkee, sirrah,--why, and be d----d to you, do not you drive over that fellow? Thunder, furies, and damnation! I'll cut your ears off, you fellow before there. Come hither, you dog you, and let me wring your neck round your shoulders.「 We had a repetition of the same eloquence at the Cockpit,[108] and the turning into Palace Yard.

This gave me a perfect image of the insignificancy of the creatures who practise this enormity; and made me conclude, that it is ever want of sense makes a man guilty in this kind. It was excellently well said, that this folly had no temptation to excuse it, no man being born of a swearing constitution. In a word, a few rumbling words and consonants clapped together, without any sense, will make an accomplished swearer: and it is needless to dwell long upon this blustering impertinence, which is already banished out of the society of well-bred men, and can be useful only to bullies and ill tragic writers, who would have sound and noise pass for courage and sense.

St. James's Coffee-house, February 22.

There arrived a messenger last night from Harwich, who left that place just as the Duke of Marlborough was going on board. The character of this important general going out by the command of his Queen, and at the request of his country, puts me in mind of that noble figure which Shakespeare gives Harry the Fifth upon his expedition against France. The poet wishes for abilities to represent so great a hero:

「_Oh for a muse of fire!「 says he,
「Then should the warlike Harry, like himself,
Assume the port of Mars; and at his heels,
Leashed in, like hounds, should Famine, Sword and Fire
Crouch for employment._「[109]

A conqueror drawn like the god of battle, with such a dreadful leash of hell-hounds at his command, makes a picture of as much majesty and terror as is to be met with in any poet.

Shakespeare understood the force of this particular allegory so well, that he had it in his thoughts in another passage, which is altogether as daring and sublime as the former. What I mean, is in the tragedy of 「Julius Cæsar,「 where Antony, after having foretold the bloodshed and destruction that should be brought upon the earth by the death of that great man; to fill up the horror of his description, adds the following verses:

「_And Cæsar's spirit ranging for revenge,
With Ate by his side, come hot from Hell,
Shall in these confines, with a monarch's voice,
Cry 'Havoc'; and let slip the dogs of war._「[110]

I do not question but these quotations will call to mind in my readers of learning and taste, that imaginary person described by Virgil with the same spirit. He mentions it upon the occasion of a peace which was restored to the Roman Empire, and which we may now hope for from the departure of that great man who has given occasion to these reflections. 「The Temple of Janus,「 says he, 「shall be shut, and in the midst of it Military Fury shall sit upon a pile of broken arms, loaded with a hundred chains, bellowing with madness, and grinding his teeth in blood.

「_Claudentur belli portæ; Furor impius intus,
Sæva sedens super arma, et centum vinctus ahenis
Post tergum nodis, fremit horridus ore cruento._「[111]

「_Janus himself before his fane shall wait,
And keep the dreadful issues of his gate,
With bolts and iron bars. Within remains
Imprisoned Fury bound in brazen chains;
High on a trophy raised of useless arms,
He sits, and threats the world with vain alarms._「
                            DRYDEN.

ADVERTISEMENT.

The tickets which were delivered out for the benefit of Signor Nicolini Grimaldi[112] on the 24th instant, will be taken on Thursday the 2nd of March, his benefit being deferred till that day.

N.B. In all operas for the future, where it thunders and lightens in proper time and in tune, the matter of the said lightning is to be of the finest resin; and, for the sake of harmony, the same which is used to the best Cremona fiddles.

Note also, that the true perfumed lightning is only prepared and sold by Mr. Charles Lillie, at the corner of Beauford Buildings.

The lady who has chosen Mr. Bickerstaff for her valentine, and is at a loss what to present him with, is desired to make him, with her own hands, a warm nightcap.[113]

[Footnote 108: A portion of Henry VIII.'s palace at Whitehall. When Whitehall was burned down in 1697, the Cockpit escaped, and was used as a Court for the Committee of the Privy Council.]

[Footnote 109: 「Henry the Fifth,「 Prologue.]

[Footnote 110: 「Julius Cæsar,「 act iii. sc. i.]

[Footnote 111: 「Æneid,「 i. 294.]

[Footnote 112: See Nos. 115, 142.]

[Footnote 113: A description of the custom of drawing valentines, and of the hope and fear shown on the faces of the drawers, who in their earnestness gave to a scrap of paper the same effect as the person represented, is to be found in Lillie's 「Letters sent to the Tatler and Spectator「 (1725), i. 30. See No. 141.]

No. 138. [STEELE.

From Thursday, Feb. 23, to Saturday, Feb. 25, 1709-10.

Secretosque pios, his dantem jura Catonem.
                              VIRG., Æn. viii. 670.

   *       *       *       *       *

Sheer Lane, February 24.

It is an argument of a clear and worthy spirit in a man, to be able to disengage himself from the opinions of others, so far as not to let the deference due to the sense of mankind ensnare him to act against the dictates of his own reason. But the generality of the world are so far from walking by any such maxim, that it is almost a standing rule to do as others do, or be ridiculous. I have heard my old friend Mr. Hart[114] speak it as an observation among the players, that it is impossible to act with grace, except the actor has forgot that he is before an audience. Till he has arrived at that, his motion, his air, his every step and gesture, has something in them which discovers he is under a restraint for fear of being ill received; or if he considers himself as in the presence of those who approve his behaviour, you see an affectation of that pleasure run through his whole carriage. It is as common in life, as upon the stage, to behold a man in the most indifferent action betray a sense he has of doing what he is about gracefully. Some have such an immoderate relish for applause, that they expect it for things, which in themselves are so frivolous, that it is impossible, without this affectation, to make them appear worthy either of blame or praise. There is Will Glare, so passionately intent upon being admired, that when you see him in public places, every muscle of his face discovers his thoughts are fixed upon the consideration of what figure he makes. He will often fall into a musing posture to attract observation, and is then obtruding himself upon the company when he pretends to be withdrawn from it. Such little arts are the certain and infallible tokens of a superficial mind, as the avoiding observation is the sign of a great and sublime one. It is therefore extremely difficult for a man to judge even of his own actions, without forming to himself an idea of what he should act, were it in his power to execute all his desires without the observation of the rest of the world. There is an allegorical fable in Plato,[115] which seems to admonish us, that we are very little acquainted with ourselves, while we know our actions are to pass the censures of others; but had we the power to accomplish all our wishes unobserved, we should then easily inform ourselves how far we are possessed of real and intrinsic virtue. The fable I was going to mention, is that of Gyges, who is said to have had an enchanted ring, which had in it a miraculous quality, making him who wore it visible or invisible, as he turned it to or from his body. The use Gyges made of his occasional invisibility, was, by the advantage of it, to violate a queen, and murder a king. Tully takes notice of this allegory, and says very handsomely, that a man of honour who had such a ring, would act just in the same manner as he would do without it.[116] It is indeed no small pitch of virtue under the temptation of impunity, and the hopes of accomplishing all a man desires, not to transgress the rules of justice and virtue; but this is rather not being an ill man, than being positively a good one; and it seems wonderful, that so great a soul as that of Tully, should not form to himself a thousand worthy actions which a virtuous man would be prompted to by the possession of such a secret. There are certainly some part of mankind who are guardian beings to the other. Sallust could say of Cato, 「that he had rather be than appear good「;[117] but indeed, this eulogium rose no higher than (as I just now hinted) to an inoffensiveness, rather than an active virtue. Had it occurred to the noble orator to represent, in his language, the glorious pleasures of a man secretly employed in beneficence and generosity, it would certainly have made a more charming page than any he has now left behind him. How might a man, furnished with Gyges' secret, employ it in bringing together distant friends, laying snares for creating goodwill in the room of groundless hatred; in removing the pangs of an unjust jealousy, the shyness of an imperfect reconciliation, and the tremor of an awful love! Such a one could give confidence to bashful merit, and confusion to overbearing impudence.

Certain it is, that secret kindnesses done to mankind, are as beautiful as secret injuries are detestable. To be invisibly good, is as godlike, as to be invisibly ill, diabolical. As degenerate as we are apt to say the age we live in is, there are still amongst us men of illustrious minds, who enjoy all the pleasures of good actions, except that of being commended for them. There happens among others very worthy instances of a public spirit, one of which I am obliged to discover, because I know not otherwise how to obey the commands of the Benefactor. A citizen of London has given directions to Mr. Rayner, the writing-master of Paul's School,[118] to educate at his charge ten boys (who shall be nominated by me) in writing and accounts, till they shall be fit for any trade. I desire therefore such as know any proper objects for receiving this bounty, to give notice thereof to Mr. Morphew, or Mr. Lillie, and they shall, if properly qualified, have instructions accordingly.

Actions of this kind have in them something so transcendent, that it is an injury to applaud them, and a diminution of that merit which consists in shunning our approbation. We shall therefore leave them to enjoy that glorious obscurity, and silently admire their virtue, who can contemn the most delicious of human pleasures, that of receiving due praise. Such celestial dispositions very justly suspend the discovery of their benefactions, till they come where their actions cannot be misinterpreted, and receive their first congratulations in the company of angels.

ADVERTISEMENT.

Whereas Mr. Bickerstaff, by a letter bearing date this 24th of February, has received information, that there are in and about the Royal Exchange a sort of persons commonly known by the name of 「whetters,「[119] who drink themselves into an intermediate state of being neither drunk nor sober before the hours of 'change, or business, and in that condition buy and sell stocks, discount notes, and do many other acts of well-disposed citizens; this is to give notice, that from this day forward, no whetter shall be able to give or endorse any note, or execute any other point of commerce, after the third half pint, before the hour of one: and whoever shall transact any matter or matters with a whetter (not being himself of that order) shall be conducted to Moorfields[120] upon the first application of his next of kin.

N.B. No tavern near the 'Change shall deliver wine to such as drink at the bar standing, except the same shall be three parts of the best cider; and the master of the house shall produce a certificate of the same from Mr. Tintoret,[121] or other credible wine-painter.

Whereas the model of the intended Bedlam[122] is now finished, and that the edifice itself will be very suddenly begun; it is desired, that all such as have relations, whom they would recommend to our care, would bring in their proofs with all speed, none being to be admitted of course but lovers, who are put into an immediate regimen. Young politicians also are received without fees or examination.

[Footnote 114: See No. 99.]

[Footnote 115: 「Republic,「 ii. 359.]

[Footnote 116: 「De Officiis,「 iii. 9.]

[Footnote 117: 「Bell. Cat.「 ad fin.]

[Footnote 118: 「The Paul's scholar's copy-book, containing the round and round-text hands, with alphabets at large of the Greek and Hebrew, and joining-pieces of each. Embellished with proper ornaments of command of hand. By John Rayner, at the Hand and Pen, in St. Paul's Churchyard, London. Published for the use of schools. Sold by the author, and Jonathan Robinson, at the Golden Lion, in St. Paul's Churchyard. Price 1_s._「 (No. 135, Advertisement). Rayner's book was dedicated to the Master and Wardens of the Mercers' Company, and was reissued in 1716 (W. Massey's 「Origin and Progress of Letters,「 1763, part ii. p. 120).]

[Footnote 119: See No. 141.]

[Footnote 120: Bedlam.]

[Footnote 121: See No. 131.]

[Footnote 122: See No. 125.]

No. 139. [STEELE.

From Saturday, Feb. 25, to Tuesday, Feb. 28, 1709-10.

         ----Nihil est, quod credere de se
Non possit, cum laudatur Dis æqua potestas.
                                  JUV., Sat. iv. 70.

   *       *       *       *       *

Sheer Lane, February 27.

When I reflect upon the many nights I have sat up for some months last past in the greatest anxiety for the good of my neighbours and contemporaries, it is no small discouragement to me, to see how slow a progress I make in the reformation of the world. But indeed I must do my female readers the justice to own, that their tender hearts are much more susceptible of good impressions, than the minds of the other sex. Business and ambition take up men's thoughts too much to leave room for philosophy: but if you speak to women in a style and manner proper to approach them, they never fail to improve by your counsel. I shall therefore for the future turn my thoughts more particularly to their service, and study the best methods to adorn their persons, and inform their minds in the justest methods to make them what Nature designed them, the most beauteous objects of our eyes, and the most agreeable companions of our lives. But when I say this, I must not omit at the same time to look into their errors and mistakes, that being the readiest way to the intended end of adorning and instructing them. It must be acknowledged, that the very inadvertencies of this sex are owing to the other; for if men were not flatterers, women could not fall into that general cause of all their follies, and our misfortunes, their love of flattery. Were the commendation of these agreeable creatures built upon its proper foundation, the higher we raised their opinion of themselves, the greater would be the advantage to our sex; but all the topic of praise is drawn from very senseless and extravagant ideas we pretend we have of their beauty and perfection. Thus when a young man falls in love with a young woman, from that moment she is no more Mrs. Alice such-a-one, born of such a father, and educated by such a mother; but from the first minute that he casts his eye upon her with desire, he conceives a doubt in his mind, what heavenly power gave so unexpected a blow to a heart that was ever before untouched. But who can resist Fate and Destiny, which are lodged in Mrs. Alice's eyes? After which he desires orders accordingly, whether he is to live or breathe; the smile or frown of his goddess is the only thing that can now either save or destroy him. By this means, the well-humoured girl, that would have romped with him before she received this declaration, assumes a state suitable to the majesty he has given her, and treats him as the vassal he calls himself. The girl's head is immediately turned by having the power of life and death, and takes care to suit every motion and air to her new sovereignty. After he has placed himself at this distance, he must never hope to recover his former familiarity, till she has had the addresses of another, and found them less sincere.

If the application to women were justly turned, the address of flattery, though it implied at the same time an admonition, would be much more likely to succeed. Should a captivated lover, in a billet, let his mistress know, that her piety to her parents, her gentleness of behaviour, her prudent economy with respect to her own little affairs in a virgin condition, had improved the passion which her beauty had inspired him with, into so settled an esteem for her, that of all women breathing he wished her his wife; though his commending her for qualities she knew she had as a virgin, would make her believe he expected from her an answerable conduct in the character of a matron, I will answer for it, his suit would be carried on with less perplexity.

Instead of this, the generality of our young women, taking all their notions of life from gay writings, or letters of love, consider themselves as goddesses, nymphs, and shepherdesses.

By this romantic sense of things, all the natural relations and duties of life are forgotten, and our female part of mankind are bred and treated, as if they were designed to inhabit the happy fields of Arcadia, rather than be wives and mothers in old England. It is indeed long since I had the happiness to converse familiarly with this sex, and therefore have been fearful of falling into the error which recluse men are very subject to, that of giving false representations of the world from which they have retired, by imaginary schemes