Section 29

Cibber, we desire you would do the same justice to your humble Servants,

                                   「WILLIAM BULLOCK, and
                                            「WILLIAM PENKETHMAN.「

For the information of posterity, I shall comply with this letter, and set these two great men in such a light as Sallust has placed his Cato and Cæsar.

Mr. William Bullock and Mr. William Penkethman are of the same age, profession, and sex. They both distinguish themselves in a very particular manner under the discipline of the crabtree, with this only difference, that Mr. Bullock has the most agreeable squawl, and Mr. Penkethman the more graceful shrug. Penkethman devours a cold chicken with great applause; Bullock's talent lies chiefly in asparagus. Penkethman is very dexterous at conveying himself under a table; Bullock is no less active at jumping over a stick. Mr. Penkethman has a great deal of money, but Mr. Bullock is the taller man.

[Footnote 317: See No. 179.]

[Footnote 318: Virgil, 「Georg.「 ii. 488 (「In vallibus Hæmi「).]

[Footnote 319: 「Othello,「 act iii. sc. 4.]

[Footnote 320: 「Othello,「 act iii. sc. 3.]

[Footnote 321: See Nos. 1, 71, 157, 167.]

[Footnote 322: See No. 134.]

[Footnote 323: See No. 4.]

[Footnote 324: See No. 7.]

No. 189. [STEELE.

From Thursday, June 22, to Saturday, June 24, 1710.

Est in juvencis, est in equis patrum
  Virtus; neque imbellem feroces
    Progenerant aquilæ columbam.
                          HOR., 4 Od. iv. 30.

   *       *       *       *       *

From my own Apartment, June 23.

Having lately turned my thoughts upon the consideration of the behaviour of parents to children in the great affair of marriage,[325] I took much delight in turning over a bundle of letters which a gentleman's steward in the country had sent me some time ago. This parcel is a collection of letters written by the children of the family to which he belongs to their father, and contain all the little passages of their lives, and the new ideas they received as their years advanced. There is in them an account of their diversions as well as their exercises; and what I thought very remarkable, is, that two sons of the family, who now make considerable figures in the world, gave omens of that sort of character which they now bear, in the first rudiments of thought which they show in their letters. Were one to point out a method of education, one could not, methinks, frame one more pleasing or improving than this; where the children get a habit of communicating their thoughts and inclinations to their best friend with so much freedom, that he can form schemes for their future life and conduct from an observation of their tempers, and by that means be early enough in choosing their way of life, to make them forward in some art or science at an age when others have not determined what profession to follow. As to the persons concerned in this packet I am speaking of, they have given great proofs of the force of this conduct of their father in the effect it has had upon their lives and manners. The elder, who is a scholar, showed from his infancy a propensity to polite studies, and has made a suitable progress in literature; but his learning is so well woven into his mind, that from the impressions of it, he seems rather to have contracted a habit of life, than manner of discourse. To his books he seems to owe a good economy in his affairs, and a complacency in his manners, though in others that way of education has commonly a quite different effect. The epistles of the other son are full of accounts of what he thought most remarkable in his reading. He sends his father for news the last noble story he had read. I observe, he is particularly touched with the conduct of Codrus, who plotted his own death, because the oracle had said, if he were not killed, the enemy should prevail over his country. Many other incidents in his little letters give omens of a soul capable of generous undertakings; and what makes it the more particular is, that this gentleman had, in the present war, the honour and happiness of doing an action for which only it was worth coming into the world. Their father is the most intimate friend they have, and they always consult him rather than any other, when any error has happened in their conduct through youth and inadvertency. The behaviour of this gentleman to his sons has made his life pass away with the pleasures of a second youth; for as the vexations which men receive from their children hasten the approach of age and double the force of years; so the comforts which they reap from them are balm to all other sorrows, and disappoint the injuries of time. Parents of children repeat their lives in their offspring, and their concern for them is so near, that they feel all their sufferings and enjoyments as much as if they regarded their own proper persons. But it is generally so far otherwise, that the common race of squires in this kingdom use their sons as persons that are waiting only for their funerals, and spies upon their health and happiness; as indeed they are by their own making them such. In cases where a man takes the liberty after this manner to reprehend others, it is commonly said, 「Let him look at home.「 I am sorry to own it; but there is one branch of the house of the Bickerstaffs, who have been as erroneous in their conduct this way as any other family whatsoever. The head of this branch is now in town, and has brought up with him his son and daughter (who are all the children he has) in order to be put some way into the world, and see fashions. They are both very ill-bred cubs, and having lived together from their infancy without knowledge of the distinctions and decencies that are proper to be paid to each other's sex, they squabble like two brothers. The father is one of those who knows no better than that all pleasure is debauchery, and imagines, when he sees a man become his estate, that he will certainly spend it. This branch are a people who never had among them one man eminent either for good or ill; however, have all along kept their heads just above water, not by a prudent and regular economy, but by expedients in the matches they have made into their house. When one of the family has, in the pursuit of foxes, and in the entertainment of clowns, run out the third part of the value of his estate, such a spendthrift has dressed up his eldest son, and married what they call a good fortune, who has supported the father as a tyrant over them, during his life, in the same house or neighbourhood. The son in succession has just taken the same method to keep up his dignity, till the mortgages he has ate and drank himself into, have reduced him to the necessity of sacrificing his son also, in imitation of his progenitor. This had been for many generations the whole that had happened in the family of Sam. Bickerstaff, till the time of my present cousin Samuel, the father of the young people we have just now spoken of.

Samuel Bickerstaff, Esq., is so happy, as that by several legacies from distant relations, deaths of maiden sisters, and other instances of good fortune, he has, besides his real estate, a great sum of ready money. His son at the same time knows he has a good fortune, which the father cannot alienate, though he strives to make him believe he depends only on his will for maintenance. Tom is now in his nineteenth year, Mrs. Mary in her fifteenth. Cousin Samuel, who understands no one point of good behaviour as it regards all the rest of the world, is an exact critic in the dress, the motion, the looks and gestures of his children. What adds to their misery is, that he is excessively fond of them, and the greatest part of their time is spent in the presence of this nice observer. Their life is one continued constraint. The girl never turns her head, but she is warned not to follow the proud minxes of the town. The boy is not to turn fop, or be quarrelsome; at the same time not to take an affront. I had the good fortune to dine with him to-day, and heard his fatherly table-talk as we sat at dinner, which, if my memory does not fail me, for the benefit of the world, I shall set down as he spoke it, which was much as follows, and may be of great use to those parents who seem to make it a rule, that their children's turn to enjoy the world is not to commence till they themselves have left it.

 「Now, Tom, I have bought you chambers in the Inns of Court. I allow
 you to take a walk once or twice a day round the garden. If you
 mind your business, you need not study to be as great a lawyer as
 Coke upon Littleton. I have that that will keep you; but be sure
 you keep an exact account of your linen. Write down what you give
 out to your laundress, and what she brings home again. Go as little
 as possible to the other end of the town; but if you do, come home
 early. I believe I was as sharp as you for your years, and I had my
 hat snatched off my head coming home late at a shop by St.
 Clement's Church, and I don't know from that day to this who took
 it. I do not care if you learn to fence a little, for I would not
 have you be made a fool of. Let me have an account of everything
 every post; I am willing to be at that charge, and I think you need
 not spare your pains. As for you, daughter Molly, don't mind one
 word that is said to you in London, for it is only for your
 money.「[326]

[Footnote 325: See No. 185.]

[Footnote 326: It has been suggested that the latter part of this paper may refer to Dr. Gilbert Budgell and his son Eustace, Addison's cousin. (See 「Grand Magazine,「 i. 391, seq.; and Cibber's 「Lives of the Poets,「 vol. v.) On the death of his father in 1711, Eustace Budgell came into possession of an estate of £950 a year.]

No. 190. [STEELE.

From Saturday, June 24, to Tuesday, June 27, 1710.

----Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.--VIRG., Æn. ii. 49.

   *       *       *       *       *

Sheer Lane, June 26.

There are some occasions in life, wherein regards to a man's self is the most pitiful and contemptible of all passions; and such a time certainly is when the true public spirit of a nation is run into a faction against their friends and benefactors. I have hinted heretofore some things which discover the real sorrow I am in at the observation, that it is now very much so in Great Britain, and have had the honour to be pelted with several epistles to expostulate with me on that subject;[327] among others, one from a person of the number of those they call Quakers, who seems to admonish me out of pure zeal and goodwill. But as there is no character so unjust as that of talking in party upon all occasions, without respect to merit or worth on the contrary side, so there is no part we can act so justifiable as to speak our mind when we see things urged to extremity, against all that is praiseworthy or valuable in life, upon general and groundless suggestions. But if I have talked too frankly upon such reflections, my correspondent has laid before me, after his way, the error of it in a manner that makes me indeed thankful for his kindness, but the more inclinable to repeat the imprudence from the necessity of the circumstance:

                                      「The 23rd of the 6th month,
                                       which is the month _June_.
 「FRIEND ISAAC,

 「Forasmuch as I love thee, I cannot any longer refrain declaring my
 mind unto thee concerning some things. Thou didst thyself indite
 the epistle inserted in one of thy late Lucubrations, as thou
 wouldst have us call them: for verily thy friend of stone,[328] and
 I speak according to knowledge, hath no fingers; and though he hath
 a mouth, yet speaketh he not therewith; nor yet did that epistle at
 all come unto thee from the mansion-house of the Scarlet Whore. It
 is plain therefore, that the truth is not in thee: but since thou
 wouldst lie, couldst thou not lie with more discretion? Wherefore
 shouldst thou insult over the afflicted, or add sorrow unto the
 heavy of heart? Truly this gall proceedeth not from the spirit of
 meekness. I tell thee moreover, the people of this land be
 marvellously given to change; insomuch that it may likely come to
 pass, that before thou art many years nearer to thy dissolution,
 thou mayest behold him sitting on a high place whom thou now
 laughest to scorn: and then how wilt thou be glad to humble thyself
 to the ground, and lick the dust of his feet, that thou mayest find
 favour in his sight? If thou didst meditate as much upon the Word
 as thou dost upon the profane scribblings of the wise ones of this
 generation, thou wouldst have remembered what happened unto Shimei,
 the son of Gera the Benjamite, who cursed the good man David in his
 distress.[329] David pardoned his transgression, yet was he
 afterwards taken as in a snare by the words of his own mouth, and
 fell by the sword of Solomon the chief ruler.[330]Furthermore, I do
 not remember to have heard in the days of my youth and vanity, when,
 like thine, my conversation was with the Gentiles, that the men of
 Rome, which is Babylon, ever sued unto the men of Carthage for
 tranquillity, as thou dost aver: neither was Hannibal, the son of
 Hamilcar, called home by his countrymen, till these saw the sword
 of their enemies at their gates; and then was it not time for him,
 thinkest thou, to return? It appeareth therefore that thou dost
 prophecy backwards; thou dost row one way, and look another; and
 indeed in all things art thou too much a time-server; yet seemest
 thou not to consider what a day may bring forth. Think of this, and
 take tobacco.

                                            「Thy Friend,
                                                      「AMINADAB.「

If the zealous writer of the above letter has any meaning, it is of too high a nature to be the subject of my Lucubrations. I shall therefore waive such high points, and be as useful as I can to persons of less moment than any he hints at. When a man runs into a little fame in the world, as he meets with a great deal of reproach which he does not deserve, so does he also a great deal of esteem to which he has in himself no pretensions. Were it otherwise, I am sure no one would offer to put a law case to me: but because I am an adept in physic and astrology, they will needs persuade me that I am no less a proficient in all other sciences. However, the point mentioned in the following letter is so plain a one, that I think I need not trouble myself to cast a figure to be able to discuss it.

 「MR. BICKERSTAFF,

 「It is some years ago since the entail of the estate of our family
 was altered, by passing a fine in favour of me (who now am in
 possession of it) after some others deceased. The heirs-general,
 who live beyond sea, were excluded by this settlement, and the
 whole estate is to pass in a new channel after me and my heirs. But
 several tenants of the lordship persuade me to let them hereafter
 hold their lands of me according to the old customs of the barony,
 and not oblige them to act by the limitations of the last
 settlement. This, they say, will make me more popular among my
 dependants, and the ancient vassals of the estate, to whom any
 deviation from the line of succession is always invidious.

                                                     「Yours,「 &c.

 「SIR,                                    「Sheer Lane, _June 24._

 「You have by the fine a plain right, in which none else of your
 family can be your competitor; for which reason, by all means
 demand vassalage upon that title. The contrary advice can be given
 for no other purpose in nature but to betray you, and favour other
 pretenders, by making you place a right which is in you only, upon
 a level with a right which you have in common with others. I am,

                               「Sir,
                                    「Your most faithful
                                        「Servant till death,
                                                          「I. B.「

There is nothing so dangerous or so pleasing, as compliments made to us by our enemies: and my correspondent tells me, that though he knows several of those who give him this counsel were at first against passing the fine in favour of him; yet is he so touched with their homage to him, that he can hardly believe they have a mind to set it aside, in order to introduce the heirs-general into his estate.

These are great evils; but since there is no proceeding with success in this world, without complying with the arts of it, I shall use the same method as my correspondent's tenants did with him, in relation to one whom I never had a kindness for; but shall, notwithstanding, presume to give him my advice.

 「_Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., of Great Britain, to Lewis XIV. of
 France._

 「SIR,

 「Your Majesty will pardon me while I take the liberty to acquaint
 you, that some passages written from your side of the water do very
 much obstruct your interests. We take it very unkindly that the
 prints of Paris are so very partial in favour of one set of men
 among us, and treat the others as irreconcilable to your interests.
 Your writers are very large in recounting anything which relates to
 the figure and power of one party, but are dumb when they should
 represent the actions of the other. This is a trifling circumstance
 many here are apt to lay some stress upon; therefore I thought fit
 to offer it to your consideration before you despatch the next
 courier.

                                                     「I. B.「[331]

[Footnote 327: Swift may have been among those who protested at the introduction of politics into the Tatler (see No. 187), and Nichols thought that he was the writer of the letter signed 「Aminadab「 in this number. In June 1710, the fall of the Whigs was rapidly approaching.]

[Footnote 328: Pasquin. See Nos. 129, 130, 187.]

[Footnote 329: 2 Sam. xvi. 13.]

[Footnote 330: 1 Kings ii. 36.]

[Footnote 331: 「The Tories happen now to have other work upon their hands, and are not at leisure to return the civilities that are paid them; however, having had the honour of a letter from the King of France ... they have sent in their answer to me, and desire me to forward it; but I am at a loss how to do this, unless my brother the Tatler will convey it under his cover, for I protest I know no man in England but him that holds a correspondence with his Christian Majesty「 (Examiner, No. 2, August 10, 1710).]

No. 191. [STEELE.

From Tuesday, June 27, to Thursday, June 29, 1710.

----Propter vitam vivendi perdere causas.--JUV., Sat. viii. 84.

   *       *       *       *       *

From my own Apartment, June 28.

Of all the evils under the sun, that of making vice commendable is the greatest: for it seems to be the basis of society, that applause and contempt should be always given to proper objects. But in this age we behold things for which we ought to have an abhorrence, not only received without disdain, but even valued as motives of emulation. This is naturally the destruction of simplicity of manners, openness of heart, and generosity of temper. When one gives oneself the liberty to range, and run over in one's thoughts the different geniuses of men which one meets in the world, one cannot but observe, that most of the indirection and artifice which is used among men, does not proceed so much from a degeneracy in Nature, as an affectation of appearing men of consequence by such practices. By this means it is, that a cunning man is so far from being ashamed of being esteemed such, that he secretly rejoices in it. It has been a sort of maxim, that the greatest art is to conceal art; but I know not how, among some people we meet with, their greatest cunning is to appear cunning. There is Polypragmon[332] makes it the whole business of his life to be thought a cunning fellow, and thinks it a much greater character to be terrible than agreeable. When it has once entered into a man's head to have an ambition to be thought crafty, all other evils are necessary consequences. To deceive is the immediate endeavour of him who is proud of the capacity of doing it. It is certain, Polypragmon does all the ill he possibly can, but pretends to much more than he performs. He is contented in his own thoughts, and hugs himself in his closet, that though he is locked up there and doing nothing, the world does not know but that he is doing mischief. To favour this suspicion, he gives half-looks and shrugs in his general behaviour, to give you to understand that you don't know what he means. He is also wonderfully adverbial in his expressions, and breaks off with a 「perhaps「 and a nod of the head, upon matters of the most indifferent nature. It is a mighty practice with men of this genius to avoid frequent appearance in public, and to be as mysterious as possible when they do come into company. There is nothing to be done, according to them, the common way; and let the matter in hand be what it will, it must be carried with an air of importance, and transacted, if we may so speak, with an ostentatious secrecy. These are your persons of long heads, who would fain make the world believe their thoughts and ideas are very much superior to their neighbours', and do not value what these their neighbours think of them, provided they do not reckon them fools. These have such a romantic touch in business, that they hate to perform anything like other men. Were it in their choice, they had rather bring their purposes to bear by overreaching the persons they deal with, than by a plain and simple manner. They make difficulties for the honour of surmounting them. Polypragmon is eternally busied after this manner, with no other prospect, than that he is in hopes to be thought the most cunning of all men, and fears the imputation of want of understanding much more than that of the abuse of it. But alas! how contemptible is such an ambition, which is the very reverse of all that is truly laudable, and the very contradiction to the only means to a just reputation, simplicity of manners? Cunning can in no circumstance imaginable be a quality worthy a man except in his own defence, and merely to conceal himself from such as are so; and in such cases it is no longer craft, but wisdom. The monstrous affectation of being thought artful immediately kills all thoughts of humanity and goodness, and gives men a sense of the soft affections and impulses of the mind (which are imprinted in us for our mutual advantage and succour) as of mere weaknesses and follies. According to the men of cunning, you are to put off the nature of a man as fast as you can, and acquire that of a demon, as if it were a more eligible character to be a powerful enemy than an able friend. But it ought to be a mortification to men affected this way, that there wants but little more than instinct to be considerable in it; for when a man has arrived at being very bad in his inclination, he has not much more to do, but to conceal himself, and he may revenge, cheat, and deceive, without much employment for understanding, and go on with great cheerfulness with the high applause of being a prodigious cunning fellow. But indeed, when we arrive at that pitch of false taste, as not to think cunning a contemptible quality, it is, methinks, a very great injustice that pick-pockets are had in so little veneration, who must be admirably well turned, not only for the theoretic, but also the practical behaviour of cunning fellows. After all the endeavour of this family of men whom we call cunning, their whole work falls to pieces, if others will lay down all esteem for such artifices, and treat it as an unmanly quality, which they forbear to practise only because they abhor it. When the spider is ranging in the different apartments of his web, it is true that he only can weave so fine a thread; but it is in the power of the merest drone that has wings to fly through and destroy it.

Will's Coffee-house, June 28.

Though the taste of wit and pleasure is at present but very low in this town, yet there are some that preserve their relish undebauched with common impressions, and can distinguish between reality and imposture. A gentleman was saying here this evening, that he would go to the play to-morrow night to see heroism, as it has been represented by